I'll have both a rabbi and a priest at my wedding, and neither are actually required. They are more for the family members than us.

Drove for 2 hours in traffic with my TL.

Late by 30 minutes. Starbucks.

We phone tagged during the ride, so he wasn't too worried.

He didn't say please hurry, he said take your time and be careful.

We grab some coffee and sit down with him.

Tall. Skinny. Very little hair. Old. How old? Glance, and
could be an old 50 or a young 60. He's over 70.

Reserved smiles, I'm on best behavior.

So, tell me about yourself? He asks specific deep probing questions,
rips right into you.

Gently.

Offers up any information we'd like on him.

Asks what we feel about religion. TL goes 1st. Warm gentle loving
things said, with a bit of annoyance concerning the hierarchy.

He gently agrees. Asks about my experiences and beliefs.

Uh oh. Decision time. TL is holding my hand, and gives a squeeze.
I'm supposed to be nice.

But he ASKED! And he really seems to want to know. Oh well, if we lose
him due to a conflict with me, such is life. I'll find another one
and shutup during the next interview. I have time.

My heart starts to pump. The adrenaline kicks in. Fuck! Physical
fight or flight response. Cut that shit out. Oh well, roll with it.

I explained to him that almost all of my religious conversations are
pretty much spent pointing out contradictions and obvious bullshit,
and they almost always ended bad, so it really wasn't something I
typically did, especially with a professional representative of the
religion.

Him: Go for it.

Sigh.

So father, do you know anything about Cherry Hill, NJ?

Him: Sure, that's a heavily Jewish area.

Me: Hmm, well. Do you know the Down's Farm area?
No? That's ok. When I was 3 my father tried to buy a house
there. They told him he was not allowed, that he needed to go
across the street to Woodcrest.

So he did.

That pretty much informs my early world view on the issue.

Not that I adhere to "mine". The reason you guys are here
are for the old folk, not us.

I consider ANY revealed truth religion, revealed to someone else, as
nothing more than a way to control the masses. I came up with a pretty
good phrase, almost all the words starting with 'm', but didn't write it
down. I should have. He referred to it later.

And as far as the prayers you say during the ceremony, no war cries.

Note: These points were made over about a 3 minute one sided conversation,
as I hit various issues (that you may have seen me post about). I didn't
go for the pedophile one, that would be too easy, and this was a personal
experience conversation, not a generic "you guys suck" one.

Him: No war cries? I assure you (blah blah)

Me: (as I cut him off): No, you need to understand what my crazy
paranoid brain considers war cries. Any time I hear Christians praying
for peace, I'm trying to figure out who they are at war with, and just
how many Jews are going to die as part of the process.

At this point my TL is trying not to glare at me. She's doing a
pretty good job of maintaining a poker face, and then leaning
in and nodding sadly at me, trying to "emote" to the priest that
I'm damaged goods but I'm still marriageable.

The priest nods. And smiles.

And then blows me away.

His life experience easily qualifies him to understand my point of
view, and he partially embraces it. As he said, it's not just paranoia.

He'll do.

Actually, he's far better than "do". Hopefully he'll stay for
the whole party and can share some stories. I'm waiting for his
book, I might have access to it a bit before physical publication.

So now we have a tag team, the rabbi and the priest.

And if you like, a box.