Perhaps no-one does. But you're not the only one who's even been in this position. The bright side is that many, many people get over it.

Now I know a web page isn't going to be a magic instant fix, but maybe you could have a look at some of the following

[link|http://www.suicidology.org/crisiscenters2.htm|Go here.] This site has a couple of crisis lines in St. Louis you can call. Just select the state, and hit go. So not having a phonebook is not a problem.

And [link|http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/|this] is a bit of writing from someone who's been suicidal and got through it.

There are plenty of things available just doing a simple google search on suicide prevention. There's stacks of information out there.

I know I'm half a world away, but I hope this can be of a least a bit of assistance.