Was told to wait in the waiting room, two and a half hours, got moved to a screening room, another hour and a half wait, got admitted and spent a week in a hospital mental health wing watching video tapes of 1950's and 1970's adolecent mental health video tapes, and attending group meetings where they discussed David Burns "Feeling Good" that I had already read about 10 years ago and it didn't work for me. There was not activity therapy or physical therapy, blame "Managed Care" for that. All they did was drink coffee and got on smoke breaks every 15 minutes on the hour. I didn't drink coffee or smoke, so I didn't fit into their groups too well.

I got home, and had a huge bill to pay. This was back in August 2001 when this happened. Around Sept 11th, I was so depressed that I was sleeping a lot before it happened. My wife woke me up and told me to watch the TV, she said someone attacked New York. I imeddiately thought it was the United nations building and some terrorist with a bomb in a backpack just walked right into the front lobby and blew himsefl up or something. Little did I know it was the twin towers of the world trade center and some Jihadistic idiots flew two passinger planes into the towers.

But anyway, what happened to me after the hospital stay? I had three months off of work on sick-leave, returned to probation at work, worked three weeks, some jackholes made up rumors about me, and I still do not have an official reason why they let me go written on paper. I was on unemployment for a while, and now I got a helpdesk job that pays peanuts and hope that I don't lose my house.

So let me ask you, as a result of my hospitalization all I did was owe more money to a hospital and doctor, lost my job, and finally found another job, but am I better off than I was before? Not really, I'd be better off if I did a Kurt Cobain like a friend of mine did, ended it right there, listed my employer as the main reason why I killed myself in my suicide note, and have the managers tried for at least mainslaughter for working me so hard that the stress got too much for me. I did tell them I had a mental health illness and gave them notes from my doctor, but they continued to pile the workload on me and put me under pressure. It is criminal, in my opinion, to work someone that hard when they have a condition like I have. Under Mo Law, the life insurance would have to cover the suicide and my family would be cared for. God of course would understand why I did it, and see that those who abused me would be brought to justice.