It is that simple. If you work at it for a long time. You will have to put up with us for a long time. You came back here. YOU have the problems. You feel sorry for yourself. Grow up and work at being trusted. You will only get what you give. If you can't give out trust and only belive you are attacked, you will be. It is a self-fulfilling fantasy^WProphecy.
Get of you horse and do the work, take the bashings, work hard for us to trust you. I dn;t care if you don;t trust us. You have to earn our trust and it'll be a long long LONG while before you even gain an iota of our trust. If you slip up it is gone, you start over. You've burnt up so much good will, respect and kindheartedness, that it may be years before you see any reciprocal trust. Sure it is two way, I am glad you realize this, because it was flowing TO YOU for so many years before your charade was exposed... that you have SUCH a HUGE DEFICIT, you will have to make up before any of us will begin to give back to you.
YOU HAVE A HUGE TRUST DEFICIT, YOU OWE MANY OF US YEARS OF GOOD WILL, RESPECT AND KINDHEARTEDNESS. When that is repaid and it is shown you really can make a change for the best, then and ONLY THEN will you be trusted by any of us. There are those of us that will never trust you, you burnt enough to burn any ties to them.
If you cannot repay your debt, get on your horse and ride away and never come back.
Either DO and stay, or DO NOT and leave. Those are your choices, make it and act.