Harsh (and possibly useless?) criticism:

Post #277,258 by CRConrad 1/3/07 4:39:15 AM 1/3/07 4:41:12 AM Reply	Harsh (and possibly useless?) criticism: Matters of overall style: From the preamble: "customer-facing" and "leverage" -- MBA-buzzworditis much? Yuck, if you pardon my saying so. From the "Skills" bit: "I am an X who Z" twice in a row; a little too repetitive? Worse (IMO), every single paragraph (and every sentence but one) in the section starts with either "I am" or "I have". Yeah, I know a CV is all about you and what you've done and know... Which is why it's damn hard not to make it come out as if you were self-centered bordering on egomaniac. But if you don't make the effort, that's what you look like. Idunno, I suspect there's considerable variation between different countries as to what a CV is "supposed" to look like... But I'm fairly sure that up here, anyway, it's more comme-il-faut to look a bit more humble and less "me, me, ME!". But for all I know, the opposite may be exactly right in the UK... (Heck, it's quite possible that I'm way out of touch with how they're supposed to look here, too! :-) Pickery of Nits: Cleveland? Isn't that in Ohio? :-) In the "IT Systems Engineer" section of your work experience listing, you say "Additionally, I am responsible for the system backups..." [Emphasis added] Do you still have that task, or should that also be changed to past tense? You mention "the HATMS community" twice (Under "Site Data & Test Engineer", and then under "skills"), but after that every mention of "HA TMS" has a space between 'HA' and 'TMS'. Assuming it's the same HA TMS (or HATMS) all the way, I'd say you should write it the same way every time too. Should that really be a capital-O 'Of' in "University Of Teesside"? Maybe that's standard English English usage, I'm not sure; it may be just my own personal style preference to write it small. HTH! [link\|mailto:MyUserId@MyISP.CountryCode\|Christian R. Conrad] (I live in Finland, and my e-mail in-box is at the Saunalahti company.) Ah, the Germans: Masters of Convoluted Simplification. — [link\|http://www.thetruthaboutcars.com/?p=1603\|Jehovah] Edited by CRConrad Jan. 3, 2007, 04:41:12 AM EST Expand All History
Post #277,261 by pwhysall 1/3/07 7:00:21 AM 1/3/07 7:01:00 AM Reply	Re: Harsh (and possibly useless?) criticism: 1. True, but when in Rome and all that. 2. Yep, good point. Stylistic cleanup needed. I wrote all that last night when I was a bit tired, and it shows. What's the point of being humble? If you don't think you're great, who else will? This is my trumpet-blowing document. Of course, it's important not to over-egg the pudding. Nits: 1. It was in the UK first. Those Ohioians just stole it. Thiefses! 2. Good catch. 3. HA TMS (Highways Agency Traffic Management System) should have the space. Thanks. 4. No, the "of" gets a small "o". Check the [link\|http://www.tees.ac.uk/\|web site]. In general, the linking words in titles like that don't get capitalised. Peter [link\|http://www.no2id.net/\|Don't Let The Terrorists Win] [link\|http://www.kuro5hin.org\|There is no K5 Cabal] [link\|http://guildenstern.dyndns.org\|Home] Use P2P for legitimate purposes! [link\|http://kevan.org/brain.cgi?pwhysall\|A better terminal emulator] [image\|http://i66.photobucket.com/albums/h262/pwhysall/Misc/saveus.png\|0\|Darwinia\|\|] Edited by pwhysall Jan. 3, 2007, 07:01:00 AM EST Expand All History
Post #277,279 by bepatient 1/3/07 11:20:49 AM Reply	I is useless in a CV they already know it was YOU that did these things. Start every statement with an action. such as Ran nightly backups Responded to Customer Service Inquiries Installed Project X across 3000 user base Modified Process Y saving the company 10 million carbunkles per year. Everything I saw on the UK job boards supported the use of bullets as opposed to the freeform you are using. Too much of today's music is fashionable crap dressed as artistry._{Adrian Belew}
Post #277,283 by pwhysall 1/3/07 11:51:41 AM Reply	Good point I'll try that and see what it smells like. Peter [link\|http://www.no2id.net/\|Don't Let The Terrorists Win] [link\|http://www.kuro5hin.org\|There is no K5 Cabal] [link\|http://guildenstern.dyndns.org\|Home] Use P2P for legitimate purposes! [link\|http://kevan.org/brain.cgi?pwhysall\|A better terminal emulator] [image\|http://i66.photobucket.com/albums/h262/pwhysall/Misc/saveus.png\|0\|Darwinia\|\|]
Post #277,354 by drewk 1/3/07 11:15:57 PM Reply	Nit I believe you meant to say "I am useless." === Kip Hawley is still an idiot. === Purveyor of Doc Hope's [link\|http://DocHope.com\|fresh-baked dog biscuits and pet treats]. [link\|http://DocHope.com\|http://DocHope.com]
Post #277,366 by bepatient 1/4/07 1:20:44 AM Reply	No. I didn't. Too much of today's music is fashionable crap dressed as artistry._{Adrian Belew}

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