Well, the reunion is over, and I got through it. But an instance came up with children and I and I would like honest input about how I tried to handle it. You all know I don't handle children well, but to be truthful, I thought I tried to handle the below situation about as well as I possibly could have under the circumstances. Let me know if you agree or not.

I had gone outside to hear the music awhile, and then returned inside to help Katie pack up some things on one of the other tables. John came and pointed out that there were 6 children all in my stuff (boxes lined up under the table near where I manned the guest book and name tags, etc.).

These children were 4 girls and 2 boys, and I believe the oldest one was about 9 or 10 years old and sort of the leader of the "pack". I had had some problems with her on decorating night, but handled those fairly well. Now I had 6 children swarming my boxes, taking out all my post-it notes and all my various markers, etc.

So my first reaction was to think, "what would a parent do?" so I told them they couldn't have all my markers and all my post-it notes, and I gave them 11 colored flair pens and two stacks of post-its. They were not apparently happy with this, but isn't that what a parent might have done? I didn't think it was a good idea for that many children to have permanent markers (sharpies) which I took away.

I returned to my other job and John pointed out it wasn't working, and I went back with his help and tried to get them out again, of my boxes. This was not working, as I would get the sharpies back and they would take more post-its and etc. They could grab back as fast as I could retrieve. So this time I went for adult help. I was also very concerned because there were dangerous items in many of the boxes, including exacto knives, scissors, needles, pins, tacks, and even medications. I couldn't possibly move it all at once (which was what my sister later said I should have done), because 1) I couldn't lift it all and 2) there was no where that was easy to go to as all the tables now had their chairs on top of them so people could mop the floor. I didn't want children into my stuff and possibly getting hurt!

So I went to Katie and explained that I couldn't get things packed up across the room because the kids were in my stuff, and I couldn't get things packed up by the kids either (there were about 7-8 boxes under the table) because they were swarming the card table and the boxes. Katie went over there and ordered all the children to get back from the card table till I got everything out from under it and off it. There were a few things under there, including an electric fan,a file box, and some extension cords and a power bar. The rest was alongside it under a long table. After Katie left and I went to unload the card table, the kids were right back there at me, interfering yet again. This time I kinda got mad and slightly hollered, "Allright, everyone away from my card table, did you hear Katie?" and they jumped back. My cousin Trenna heard the commotion and ran to help me also, I told Trenna I would move and pack elsewhere if we could get the kids to stay out long enough to move it all, and so she began corral the children and get them to go outside one at a time while we tried to gather everything up.

I got John to start grabbing boxes and pointed to the far corner of the room (far away from the children) where mom was packing her stuff and we started ferrying it all the way down there to pack. There were long church pews there and I figured I could put the boxes on those, (as most of the floor was wet from the mopping). And that is what I did.

Most people think I handled it fairly well. My sister however, seems to think it was my all responsibility to keep the children out of the stuff or move the stuff away from the children and no culpability on the part of the kids.

My take on it was I tried all the right things, I think, and they failed. I don't understand why they failed, but they did. After that I think it was someone else's responsibility to help me because I couldn't contain the situation myself.

I also believe that if one of those children had gotten ahold of something dangerous and something bad happened, I would have been liable. Mom doesn't think so, but I do.

So does anyone think I handled it best I knew how, or was there something else maybe I could have done that was better? I didn't know who all the kids were so I couldn't just go get their parents, because there were 80 people there, and I didn't know who's kids were whoms. Should I have tried to find the parents somehow? But then I would have had to leave the kids alone with the boxes again.

It was all very frustrating. I would just like some input on how I handled it?

Thanks.

Brenda

P.S. I think when people have children, they must grow octopus arms to control them.

You did fine. Your sister is an idiot. It's the parents' responsibility to control their kids, but if the kids are interfering in your stuff, you have every right to tell them to shove off. Obviously their parents weren't capable of controlling them.

Thanks Scott, that really helps. Their parents probably would have helped me too, but I would have had to leave the kids and all the boxes to search outside for them, since I didn't know whose kids they were. Most of the people were outside listening to my brother and the band.

I would have been stern with them the second time they were into things. It shouldn't take more than one indication that they should stay away; that it did reflects on their parents' inability to teach them properly. 10 is way too old to have to be told "stay out of this stuff" more than once, let alone several times.

Yeah, and the 10 year old was motivating the others. She would tell the younger ones to go grab this or grab that from the boxes or floor as I was trying to pack. I saw and heard her doing it.

Had they come back after getting spoken to sternly, the next step would have been to say, "all right, who owns these miscreants, and can you please get them under control?".

I thought about it, but even shouting outside could barely be heard over the band. And I thought about asking to announce it on their mike between songs but that would have called attention to it and made a scene. So I went for Katie, which was my next best thing and my cousin Trenna, who managed to help. I even thought about going outside and getting 7 people to come in and carry 1 box each to the other side of the big hall, but I would have been asking them to miss the music performance and it wouldn't even have been their kids, most likely.

I think my sister just didn't have all the facts, and she's more on the kids' side, like kids are kids and can not be held responsible, I guess. I was just worried if one of those kids hurt themselves on something in my boxes, that I could be held liable, and I think that is what started me panicking some, because I couldn't possibly move it all fast enough and things had been used so much setting up that I didn't know which boxes had the most dangerous items in them anymore because they weren't all in the ones labelled for what they were.

They all had lids, but they weren't child-proof. ;) Just the regular standard put-together-yourself office storage boxes.

Brenda

One, appeasement never works. I thought you liked reading history, you should know this. Remember Poland? When kids are taking stuff that isn't theirs, you don't solve it by giving them some. They'll just keep taking more, expecting you to keep giving in one inch at a time.

Odd, if appeasement never works, why do I see so many parents trying it? The original 11 flair pens were already out on my table in a cup, with a few sticky notes there, as people were using them for their name tags. It's just that the 10 year old girl had been there Friday night and seen all the other markers, colored papers and various things we used to set up and decorate, and she knew they existed. So she was searching for the rest.

Two, don't be so shy about hollering for parents. Yes, hollering. Naively assume (yes, you're pretending) that if the parents saw what their kids were doing they'd come in and stop it. Some of them will think you are causing a scene and not their precious chillens. Those are the stupid, bad parents. Feel free to not care what they think, as long as they get the kids out of your hair.

Well I would have had to outshout the band outside, and the people were scattered all along a long driveway to the church maybe 12 cars long, listening to them. But in hindsight, maybe I could have grabbed another cousin inside with us and asked them to go locate the parents. It's just that most were busy, one was mopping the floor, two were doing dishes and packing up food, etc. etc.

So instead of having done something like that, I sort of kicked myself for leaving it all unattended and going out to listen to the band earlier. But everyone else had their own boxes and they didn't bother theirs, just mine. Go figure. ;) And I couldn't have put it all back in the car because we needed things here and there during the whole reunion.

Brenda

I'm feeling better about how I handled the situation, even if my sister doesn't get it.

I had hoped to hear from some mom's also in here, but I appreciate all the father's points of view equally as much. I'm just curious whether Laura or Amy would agree with how I handled it, I guess.

Anyway, thanks again for the responses, and I'm going to do my best to not care what my sister thinks. :)

Brenda