
Blasphemer!
1. And in the Days of the Rod, thus it was spake:
2. For I am the Rod thy God, and I am a jealous Rod.
3. An it come to pass, whilst thou dost travel to Mine ceremony of worship, bringeth thou libations, and sustenance, and Lemurs, and swag. And I shall say it is Good.
4. Bringeth also thine instrument of scribing, and thy foolscap, and thy stable platform upon which to writ. And I shall say it is Good.
5. And whilst thou dost travel in thy conveyances to Mine ceremony of worship, know that the LRPD shall speak, and through thee, Mine imperfect vessels, wilt be spake the Words, and the Phrases, and the Pithy Quotes. Ye, verily.
6. An it come to pass, when the Words, and the Phrases, and the Pithy Quotes have been spoken anon, shall thou then writeth the Words, and the Phrases, and the Pithy Quotes on thy foolscap, with thine instrument of scribing, using thy stable platform upon which to writ. And I shall say it is Good.
7. Know ye this, as I am a jealous Rod, do not cause to be recorded, or remembered, or otherwise known the Words, and the Phrases, and the Pithy Quotes, without the knowing being that of the sacred Foolscap of Lore, or I shall be wroth in my jealousy, and smite thee with the Runs, and the Aztec Two Step, and other plagues, and improprieties, and embarrassments.
8. For it is the Words, and the Phrases, and the Pithy Quotes that shall bring thee forth out of the desert, and to the ceremony of worship, with thy Beer, and thy Wine, and thine hard Liquors of varying provenance for consumption around the Font of Poolish Behavior, and lo! thine acquaintances shall read, and wonder, and be amazed, for the Wisdom shall be revealed.
9. Ramen.
Regards,
-scott anderson
"Welcome to Rivendell, Mr. Anderson..."