(Originally posted on my blog, but I know there are those of you who might find this interesting who don't follow blogs)

I've cancelled my Match.com account. As of the 1st of April, I no longer have an account with them.

I only ever got one date out of them that went nowhere. There was some promise on the first date, but something changed after that, and after the third date it was obvious that there was no chemistry between us. There was one other nibble, but she suddenly stopped contact without telling me why.

I sent out well over a hundred e-mails, each personalized, each designed to elicit a response from the recipient. I tweaked my profile. Tried to find some good pictures of myself. I don't think I was unrealistic in the people I tried to reach; made sure that I matched what they were looking for, didn't send e-mails to people half my age (not that I had any desire to) and just in general did the "good netizen" thing. I never got a contact from anybody who wasn't an eastern European woman looking for a green card.

A friend of mine who looked over my profile told me that the one thing that stuck out like a sore thumb was my income bracket - $35k-$50k. I work in state government; I have pretty much a guaranteed position for the rest of my life with a decent retirement and good benefits - in exchange, I don't make as much as somebody in private industry might, who might make about 50% more than I do right now. She suggested not showing how much I made; I felt that it was important to be honest up front and not lie about my situation. Besides, what you omit says as much about you as what you put in...

A while ago, I decided to stop looking around; it was getting hard on me and I needed some time to clear my head of a few issues. I went to Match.com and cancelled my account, but of course I was paid up through the end of the month. I decided to do an experiment - I jacked my income up to the $50k-$75k bracket for one weekend.

I got ten responses, including three from women who I knew I'd previously contacted.

Of course, I was being deceptive, and it wasn't fair to them, so I would immediately respond to each mail with the following form letter:

"Hello,

I'm sorry about this, but I was doing an experiment. I've been using Match.com for a bit without any responses, and I thought I'd see what happened if I increased my income bracket from $35k-$50k to $50k-$75k. I'm not trying to be deceptive, just trying to figure out different reasons why my profile wasn't working for me. I understand if you don't respond to this, but I would like to know if my income would normally prevent you from being interested in me. I won't be offended by any responses; I am doing this to better understand the dating world.

Thank you,
Thane"

I got two responses, including one from one of the women who I'd contacted before. Both of them indicated to me that yes, other than my income they liked what my profile had in it, and that I just didn't make enough for them. I understand this; men and women each have their own set of criteria by which they judge each other from a very basic standpoint - biologically men tend to look more at physical attractiveness, whereas women tend to look more at the ability of the man to be a provider. I can't say I'm totally innocent in this, but I do try to look beyond minor physical appearance issues.

Still, it sucks. :P

So, for this reason and others I'm done with Match.com for now - and I doubt I'll go back, even if my income doubles magically. I'd rather meet a nice person who likes me for me than because I have a big pocketbook.

I've got a fairly bad hearing loss; I can cope if it's relatively quiet, but in white noise situations (like a noisy bar) it gets nigh impossible for me to hear people. About two years ago, a doctor said that if I got a $2k hearing aid (not covered by my insurance) there was a small chance it might make it better, but in all likelyhood I'm SOL for noisy situations.

I agree with the basic theorem (find a place where you can a) meet women who b) can't stand the other men), just the particular location would not work for me.

...problem is I keep getting slapped because she thinks I'm staring at her boobies. :D

Drama class @ my college (DRA 120 Intro to Acting) is MWTh 11-12:30; no way I could take that off in the middle of the day.

Will look around and see if they have any "acting for idiots" in the community at large.