The commute is a lot longer than I thought. The before school program doesnt open up early enough for me to get work on time. As it is we are leaving the house before 7am. I've been late for work the last 2 days. My 6yo is at school for 11 straight hours. My 10 year old has been crying continously for the last two days, telling I me left him just like Daddy did. His anxiety and abandonment fears are through the roof. He is covered in hives. He and I both went to doc over the weekend. My bp was 151/90. I dont have HTN. My normal BP is 110/80. The stress is getting to me.


How is the new job handling you being late? If that is a problem, that changes the equation. 11 hours is a long time for a child to be at school, I have to agree there. You didn't say whether he/she was upset about it? The other child, I would be very concerned about. Does he see a therapist at school (sometimes they have in-house counselors) about his issues? He obviously had them before this, this just increased them, it seems. I don't know what HTN is, but your blood pressure isn't anything to play around with. My cousin Katie's has been at stroke level for some time now, which is why I've had such a hard time dealing with my situation. She gets upset, it could be VERY serious. So you need to get that pressure down and do what you can to help that. That to me, is a life and death thing and should be given a higher priority.

This is not going to work for me. It's a great job, great pay, great benefits, but it's going to kill me. It's too far away, the hours suck and I'm buried in University policy and procedures. I cant be a single parent and do this job. I just cant. I'll stroke out.


And it's okay to admit that you can't do something. Sometimes it's better and more mature to admit it than to keep struggling with it. It's not a failure, okay? (I'm working on this one myself), but it's not a failure to admit you simply can't do something. It's just a fact.

The alternative- a job as a therapist in a mental health clinic just around the corner from my house. I can walk there in under 5 minutes. It is 5 minutes away from school. It's a contractual job. Pay is good, but no benefits. I can set my own schedule and see clients when I want. I can be there for my kids. I can still do some trauma response and continue working a bit from home. I can go home for lunch and let the dog out. It wont make me rich, I'll still be in debt, my retirement account will remain woefully under funded, I will remain under insured, I'll have to stay in my dinky little house, but I will be sane. And I will still be a good mom. I interview tomorrow night.


It sounds like it might be a good start anyway. It's okay if it isn't the best pay and best benefits right now, Laura. Anything to get some money coming in is the first step. And while you are there you can look for other opportunities, either a change of job or a promotion in the one you'll get. Is there an insurance you can buy or pay for on your own, like Cobra? I agree you need the insurance, but first you need to get a little financially stable, and I know that's what you've been worried about.

You have to decide what's right for you, hon. We can't make that decision. We can look at the problem and make best guesses and make assessments based on what we could or couldn't do, but we can't know what you can or can't handle. So this needs to be something that you decide, that you decide is the best for you and your kids, (whichever way you go), and that you don't see taking the other job as an end to all your hopes and dreams. See it as a beginning to get you there eventually.

Am I doing the right thing?


The pressure is killing me.


I think you know in your heart what the right thing to do is, and yes, honestly, if it were me, I would be going the other job route and dealing with the end result of that at a later date, (finding another job, or insurance, or etc.)

Hang in there Laura, you'll find the right answers.

Brenda