Best wishes with your cat

Post #230,698

10/24/05 5:58:08 PM

FWIW,
I'm doing better since my earlier post. I think part of the problem is that cats get into everything so everything reminds you of them when they're gone. It's hard to remember the "it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all" when you are going through the losing part. All and all, I'll keep owning pets as I find that the joy outweighs the sadness.
I also think that the bond is so strong because, unlike most people, they become a part of your daily life and you theirs, even the unglamorous morning rituals, hell - everything. Some time in the future when I stop hurting from this, I'd love to explore the psychology of why I'm so torn up. I think it's pretty obvious but I still feel like making excuses for myself - why I'm acting so silly.
Again, best wishes for your kitty and I'm sorry that she has cancer.

Just a few thoughts,

Danno

Post #230,703

by Nightowl

10/24/05 6:06:08 PM

For what it's worth

...Some time in the future when I stop hurting from this, I'd love to explore the psychology of why I'm so torn up. I think it's pretty obvious but I still feel like making excuses for myself - why I'm acting so silly.

I completely understand this. I'm dealing with a completely different kind of grief, that of losing a close family bonding situation that worked well for two years, and is now in pieces. But I know what you're saying. You KNOW why you are sad, you KNOW why you are depressed. You KNOW why you are acting so silly, you really do. And so do I. And we both know what we NEED to do to feel better, but knowing and doing are so different from one another.

Exploring why we feel that way, on the other hand, helps bring about the healing. It helps make us understand how we are feeling, and helps give us the steps and tools we need to begin to feel better. But meanwhile, it's so much easier isn't it, to just hurt, and accept that we hurt, and to want to stop fighting it because it's so tiring to fight it day after day.

Hang in there Danreck!

Brenda

"I'll rock the darn boat all I want to, and if it's meant to stay afloat, then it will. If not, then we'll just all go down with the bloody ship!"

Post #230,712

by danreck

10/24/05 6:27:51 PM

Brenda

Hang in there yourself. There's a beautiful song by Crosby, Stills and Nash called "Carry On". I'm gonna listen to it today on my way home from work. Part of the problem I'm having isn't just the cat. In the last 6 years, I've lost both of my older brothers, my dad, AND the cat. I don't think I've adequately grieved any of them. I just kind of quickly go back to work to keep my mind off of it. But I also know that this strategy can blow up as I've just been holding a lot in. The good news is that these are opportune times for "moments of clarity", times when you can see your life as an outsider and plot a new course if necessary. These moments usually involve change and are painful, but by and large, they make up the fabric of most of our lives.

The song I'll be listening to has the following lyrics:

One morning I woke up and I new you were really gone.
A new day, a new way,
And new eyes to see the dawn.
Go your way
I'll go mine and carry on.
The sky is clearing and the night has cried enough
The sun he comes the world so often up.
Rejoice, rejoice, we have no choice but to carry on.
The fortunes of fables are able to sing a song,
Now witness the quickness with which we get along
To sing the blues, you've got to live the dues
And carry on.
Carry on love is coming,
Love is coming to us all.

I wish you all the best with your situation.

peace and love,

Danno

Post #230,771

by imric

10/25/05 7:24:16 AM

Thanks -

I'm hoping (if the operation is successful) to have a couple more years with her - but it was a blow finding out.

[link|http://www.runningworks.com|

]

Imric's Tips for Living

Paranoia Is a Survival Trait
Pessimists are never disappointed - but sometimes, if they are very lucky, they can be pleasantly surprised...
Even though everyone is out to get you, it doesn't matter unless you let them win.

Nothing is as simple as it seems in the beginning,
As hopeless as it seems in the middle,
Or as finished as it seems in the end.

Post #230,860

by jb4

10/25/05 3:19:04 PM

G'luck Skip!

jb4
shrub●bish (Am., from shrub + rubbish, after the derisive name for America's 43 president; 2003) n. 1. a form of nonsensical political doubletalk wherein the speaker attempts to defend the indefensible by lying, obfuscation, or otherwise misstating the facts; GIBBERISH. 2. any of a collection of utterances from America's putative 43rd president. cf. BULLSHIT

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