Post #230,525
10/22/05 9:23:05 PM
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I interviewed for a job yesterday...thoughts at-large.
Seeing as I feel like I can no longer sit on the sidelines, I took the plunge and responded to a job offer. I am not the only candidate. The interview went fairly well, considering it has been decades since I actually went through this process. I will find out if I have the job next week. I would begin in Nov. But,I have mixed feelings about joining the workforce. I am trying not to feel fear, as it is paralyzing, but here it comes, closing around my throat like a noose.
When we became man and wife, The C-man and I agreed that it was important for me to be home to raise our children. Although I have done many entrepreneurial forms of adding to the family fortune (ha!), my experience with the W-2 World has mostly been working for my mom or dad. It has afforded me the flexibility that parenting requires (sick kid, field trip chaperone, meetings, etc.) Now that I am embarking on this new course, I am concerned about my ability to measure up.
Most of the time, I have a reasonable amount of self-esteem. At this point in my life, I seem to be lacking that vital ingredient. I put together a resume that was fairly accurate at conveying my multiple skill sets, although I had to focus on office skills (yawn!). If hired, I would be working in an insurance office doing customer support and various other office tasks. I know I can do it, but I guess what I'm worried about is my mental health.
Our recent situation has drained me of any ambition and/or confidence. It was a stretch just to go to the interview. I don't have a lot of career clothing, although business casual is accepted in this particular office.
There are days when I feel like I'm running on auto-pilot. I go through the motions and then it's the end of the day. I am worried about my consistency to drag myself out into the world and be present in that world.
I made an appointment with my therapist. Thank goodness she can get to me next week. I wish I knew how to overcome this dread that I feel. Perhaps an objective opinion (or two or ten) can help me get a grip on things.
Thank you for listening. Vote affirmative.
a.
Oh Freddled Gruntbuggly!
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Post #230,527
10/22/05 9:35:34 PM
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Good for you! Luck!
Don't feel that you're somehow unworthy. You have wonderful people skills. I'm sure they'll be lucky to have you. You must be a joy to be around if you're anything like the person you play here. ;-D
Remember that companies need good people as much as you need a good job. You're offering value to them too. Once you've got a few paychecks in your pocket I'm sure your worries about being "good enough" will fade away.
You'll do great. Keep a few clean jokes handy to break the ice and best of luck!
Cheers,
Scott.
(Who wishes more of the service people he deals with were worried about measuring up! :-)
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Post #230,532
10/22/05 11:01:53 PM
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Take things one day at a time, and good luck.
I have come to believe that idealism without discipline is a quick road to disaster, while discipline without idealism is pointless. -- Aaron Ward (my brother)
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Post #230,533
10/22/05 11:08:03 PM
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Go get 'em.
You have obv. excellent extemporaneous speaking skills; I'd bet that among any competition (particularly younger) - that would become quickly apparent in any interview.
'Office' - yeah, well, all my info is hearsay over many years - as has been quite enough for me to truly Appreciate that I never had to bear being in one. But you are not moi, and it sounds as if the worst associations (phone answering, creating TLAs, filing/data-entry! and the like) are not what you'd be doing much of?
'Customer support' - well, what one would Like it to be - entails not merely people and language skills, but also a damn good facsimile of meaning, actually to Help! IMO. No way to guess whether this place would expect any overt lying, as likely you could not do; you can certainly hope: Not.
I'd think you haven't much to worry about re Your skillz; maybe more about how sane is the management(?) You can pick up any silly details easily -- much is just a bunch of boring machines doing repetitive tasks. Easy as setting the clock on the VCR. Surely Dilbert is a small exaggeration. Shirley.. ;-)
So then - Break a Leg!
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Post #230,536
10/23/05 12:31:19 AM
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lets see, are you breathing can you articulate engrish well
CS should be a snap as you have empathy, are dicerning enough to know when to escalate to more knowledgeable folks. Fork your therapist, thats what bionerd is for,
luck
bill
"the reason people don't buy conspiracy theories is that they think conspiracy means everyone is on the same program. Thats not how it works. Everybody has a different program. They just all want the same guy dead. Socrates was a gadfly, but I bet he took time out to screw somebodies wife" Gus Vitelli
Any opinions expressed by me are mine alone, posted from my home computer, on my own time as a free american and do not reflect the opinions of any person or company that I have had professional relations with in the past 49 years. meep
questions, help? [link|mailto:pappas@catholic.org|email pappas at catholic.org]
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Post #230,543
10/23/05 3:00:25 AM
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I can relate, Amy
I'm terrified to rejoin the work force, although I know I might someday.
Recently I have also been sapped of most of my self-esteem and confidence and worthiness as a person. I get that, completely. I get the feeling of dragging yourself through the motions of your day and trying to just make it to the end, let alone show yourself to anyone while doing it.
I bought several books, (three of which aren't here yet though), to help me get through this. I've been trying to convince myself I'm NOT a failure, I AM a worthy person. That's what you have to do too, is tell yourself over and over, you are a worthy person and you have value. Keep reminding yourself of that, (God knows I'm trying to do that all the time), and keep plugging away at the lack of confidence and assurance and whatever it is that's holding you back.
I've gone from the self-attacking stage some to a grief stage of sorts, maybe you can examine your feelings of inadequacy as a grief of sorts, like you may have lost something you previously had. Sometimes looking at it that way makes it feel less like a weakness and more like a normal feeling of emptiness or loss.
And also a big thing for me lately is expectations. I think I keep expecting people to step up to the plate and help fix the problems, but I have about decided that is an unreasonable expectation, despite them telling me they will. I think this is something I've got to beat on my own, (with certain people's support), but without any "cavalry" to the rescue on my side of the fight, if that makes any sense.
Hang in there Amy, believe in yourself and go out there and prove who you are. You can do it, I know you can.
Brenda
"I'll rock the darn boat all I want to, and if it's meant to stay afloat, then it will. If not, then we'll just all go down with the bloody ship!"
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Post #230,548
10/23/05 5:50:59 AM
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Do you understand Dilbert?
Dilbert is a gross exaggeration but does show that office people are bizarre. I see only two yellow lights but that's because I don't know enough about you.
The first is I have no idea if you can handle office people. You can't discipline them like your kids unless they're young and you want to become a matriarch. The charm techniques you use on your husband can be applied in the office, if you want to operate like that, but it's more dangerous. Otherwise, you could be frustrated by some people who are lazy, uncooperative, obsessed, overworked or incompetent. And you can't do everything yourself. If you are on a committee of some club, then you're already used to it.
The second is motivation at the job. The job or the work culture must interest you, otherwise you will be going through the motions again. A lot of housewives take low ranking jobs to get out of the house and meet other people and I suspect you're the same. If you're a career ambitious, high brow intellectual like bionerd or me, then you'd be making a mistake and you ought to study first.
Once you're in, for the first month, you'll be too busy discovering how everything works to be worried about low self-esteem. Then your voiciferous self will plug into the gossip networks. Then you'll get your first paycheque. You'll be fine.
Matthew Greet
Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television, choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol, and dental insurance. Choose fixed interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisurewear and matching luggage. Choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pishing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked up brats you spawned to replace yourself. Choose your future. Choose life... But why would I want to do a thing like that? I chose not to choose life. I chose somethin' else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you've got heroin?
- Mark Renton, Trainspotting.
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Post #230,553
10/23/05 6:51:22 AM
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Being as how I'm from the Chicagoland area...
I vote afirmative early and often!
Go'luck, querk!
jb4
shrub●bish (Am., from shrub + rubbish, after the derisive name for America's 43 president; 2003) n. 1. a form of nonsensical political doubletalk wherein the speaker attempts to defend the indefensible by lying, obfuscation, or otherwise misstating the facts; GIBBERISH. 2. any of a collection of utterances from America's putative 43rd president. cf. BULLSHIT
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Post #230,566
10/23/05 2:02:49 PM
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votes, thoughts, and prayers
your wit and skills WILL be an asset to the company that chooses to hire you. Go get 'em!
--
Steve
[link|http://www.ubuntulinux.org|Ubuntu]
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Post #230,573
10/23/05 4:15:51 PM
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Hope you get it.
You said you're worried that you wont measure up..
Measure up to what? "The work force" is comprised of people just like you, people needing to hack out a living to pay the bills and put food on the table. You run a household! You are already a CEO, CFO, and COO. You are an administrator and manager. You can do any job! Your job as a parent, as a mother, is the hardest job you'll ever encounter. You've already mastered that. Everything else is a cake walk in comparison. You'll be fine. You really will.
Seems to me that you're afraid of the unknown and this is bogging you down a little bit. It's reasonable to be apprehensive. I'm tied up in knots about starting my job tomorrow. But once I get there, and the unknown becomes known, I know I'll calm down. I suspect the same will happen for you.
Now, regarding any feelings you might have about not being there for your kids- I cant help you with that. I'm struggling terribly with that one myself. But the bottom line is I have to work. I have to let go of the guilt and have faith that it will all work out. You need to have faith that it will work out, too.
And- if you dont get offered the job, dont let this affect your self esteem. It simply means you and that particular job and company werent a match. It has nothing to do with you as a person. Keep applying.
Chin up!
Follow your MOUSE
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Post #230,583
10/23/05 6:26:37 PM
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Many Thanks.
Thank you, everyone! I feel so much better than I did on Friday. (Although I wish I had worn something different to the interview, but I suppose second-guessing is useless at this point.)
I can't tell yall how much I appreciate the moral support. You are right, Laura. It was a fear of the unknown that had me in its grasp. I couldn't see myself going to work everyday, because it is so totally foreign to me. Now, I can enjoy a bit of deja vu. If I can visualize my success, I can achieve it.
I don't know what I'd do without you, my friends. My gratitude is boundless.
Your words of encouragement hit the spot.
Peace and love,
Amy
Oh Freddled Gruntbuggly!
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Post #230,608
10/24/05 2:03:52 AM
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but you've already been there...
you went to the interview didn't you. That was held at the office, right. You were dressed for the part right. You made it through it. You've done it once, you can do it again. and again.... no worries. Once you get the job (this one, or some other one) it will take a couple of weeks for you to learn the protocol and who does what and what you particularly need to do. That's the same for anyone in any new job. You fit in here, and we're a tough crowd. You can handle the surreal world, you can handle the real world. [link|http://www.trooper.ca/albums/audio/KnockEmDeadKid.mp3|Knock'em Dead, Kid] (& the [link|http://www.trooper.ca/default.php?cat=albums&subcat=3|album])
Have fun,
Carl Forde
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Post #230,587
10/23/05 7:32:50 PM
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Knock 'em dead tomorrow. :-)
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Post #230,601
10/23/05 11:57:46 PM
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Fingers - crossing 'em!
[link|http://www.runningworks.com|
] Imric's Tips for Living
- Paranoia Is a Survival Trait
- Pessimists are never disappointed - but sometimes, if they are very lucky, they can be pleasantly surprised...
- Even though everyone is out to get you, it doesn't matter unless you let them win.
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Nothing is as simple as it seems in the beginning,
As hopeless as it seems in the middle,
Or as finished as it seems in the end.
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Post #230,667
10/24/05 3:04:41 PM
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Luck to you and don't worry, they're just people
Though it is true that the amorality found in the business world can sometimes rival that of small children.
-----------------------------------------
George W. Bush and his PNAC handlers sent the US into Iraq with lies. I find myself rethinking my opposition to the death penalty.
--Donald Dean Richards Jr.
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Post #230,670
10/24/05 3:20:26 PM
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Impossible!
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Post #230,675
10/24/05 3:28:57 PM
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I feel like I could conquer the world now!
How can I possibly thank all of you for the boost in morale? I just wish I had known you all sooner in my life! (Bad Critter, Bad Critter! :-D)
Even if I don't get this gig, I have enough confidence to try again...and again. Yall have helped me realize that I have done some pretty amazing things in my life. It's about time I get compensated monetarily for them ;-).
Thank you, everyone. My heart is so full of love for each and every one of you. I can't wait until Beep's. Hugs and kisses will be joyfully spread around.
Peace to all of you!
Amy
Oh Freddled Gruntbuggly!
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Post #233,115
11/8/05 11:34:04 PM
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Update
Well, I didn't get the job for which I interviewed. Never even got a phonecall saying "We hired someone else, sorry Charlie". How Wude!
I'm not all choked up about it, though. An acquaintance of mine took me out for a coffee and told me how she had been thinking about hiring me for awhile now and she wants me to work for her mortgage company as a loan processor.
Ain't that a knee-slapper?
So, I'm going to go for it. I'm also training to become a financial planner. I figure I might as well do something that I'm passionate about and that is educating people about money. I can do the FP stuff part time and still work for my friend.
Multiple streams of income...that's what the big dogs tell you to do.
So, wish me luck! AirAmy is about to take flight!
Peace,
Amy
"It's never too late to be what you might have been." ~ George Eliot
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Post #233,116
11/8/05 11:35:59 PM
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Sounds good
And yes, multiple streams is a good idea so you don't become too dependant on any single source.
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Post #233,119
11/8/05 11:57:02 PM
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Excellent news! Q cleared for takeoff! Best of luck. :-)
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Post #233,129
11/9/05 12:32:41 AM
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Good news!
You'll be getting some experience useful to you personally as well.
Alex
The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt. -- Bertrand Russell
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Post #233,133
11/9/05 12:44:47 AM
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It's not how you get there, it is where you wind up!
Congrats on getting a job!
Cheers,
Ben
I have come to believe that idealism without discipline is a quick road to disaster, while discipline without idealism is pointless. -- Aaron Ward (my brother)
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Post #233,141
11/9/05 1:36:54 AM
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Sounds great, congrats!
--
Steve
[link|http://www.ubuntulinux.org|Ubuntu]
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Post #233,151
11/9/05 2:27:25 AM
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So, hey: luck! any particular kind? :-0
good for you. all day talking about other people's money. what could be better? :-)
smooth sailing & clear skies.
Have fun,
Carl Forde
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Post #233,173
11/9/05 9:22:07 AM
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Carl, Ima gonna get you!!!!
Poink! Woo Woo Woo Woo! Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk.
Oh, a wise guy, eh? Bonk!
"It's never too late to be what you might have been." ~ George Eliot
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Post #233,179
11/9/05 9:37:35 AM
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Sweet!
Darrell Spice, Jr. [link|http://spiceware.org/gallery/ArtisticOverpass|Artistic Overpass]\n[link|http://www.spiceware.org/|SpiceWare] - We don't do Windows, it's too much of a chore
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Post #233,181
11/9/05 9:47:53 AM
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Hey! Good for you!
Things always seem to work out, dont they?
Financial planning? Ugghh. There is certainly a need for people like you so they can help people like me. I've been working with my advisor for over 10 years. He used to explain something, say mutual funds, to me in his office and then immediately quiz me on the topic and proceed to yell at me when I got the answers wrong. Dude, if I knew all this I wouldnt need to hire you in the first place! He gets in my face, I get in his. As long as my investments keep growing it works for me.
Good luck!
Follow your MOUSE
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Post #233,214
11/9/05 12:27:25 PM
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He yells at you?
To quote my fave character on "The Young Ones":
Vivian: "What a complete and total Bastard!"
Or
From "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles"
"Gee, it's kinda like 'Moonlighting', innit?" (snicker)
My best advice is: Get yourself Personal Finance For Dummies. It is the best gift you can give yourself because it will teach you everything you need to know about money ( at least to begin with). Then you can yell back at your FP :-)
Thanks for the show of support. It's like rocket fuel to me.
Hugs all around,
Amy
"It's never too late to be what you might have been." ~ George Eliot
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Post #233,222
11/9/05 12:41:33 PM
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He and I have a very unique relationship
He's like family.
I should get that book, but no time to read right now!
Follow your MOUSE
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Post #233,182
11/9/05 9:49:03 AM
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You go girl
-----------------------------------------
Lying about outing a CIA agent, something that is actually a threat to national security, is first-degree perjury. Lying about a blowjob is....ninth-degree perjury.
--Eddie Izzard
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Post #233,241
11/9/05 1:41:07 PM
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Congratulations Amy!
I knew you could do it!
Good luck on your new job!
Brenda
"I'll rock the darn boat all I want to, and if it's meant to stay afloat, then it will. If not, then we'll just all go down with the bloody ship!"
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Post #233,322
11/9/05 9:33:31 PM
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S-s-ser seren en di di dipity! Nice parlay.
It is a job I'd choose certain tortures to evade.
(I think I realized that in first biz bookkeeping chores; the absurd depreciation calcs on a series of trivial items == no diff! between One Proprietor and.. a Corp full of MBAs honing Sucking-up techniques, while practicing for their own later Caymans accumulations.)
I guess there are a lot like moi - happy hunting!
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Post #233,328
11/9/05 11:45:29 PM
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Dude!.....uhhh...You go, girl!
They're called 'bluebirds', and they're really nice to have around... Congrats, Quirk!
jb4
shrub●bish (Am., from shrub + rubbish, after the derisive name for America's 43 president; 2003) n. 1. a form of nonsensical political doubletalk wherein the speaker attempts to defend the indefensible by lying, obfuscation, or otherwise misstating the facts; GIBBERISH. 2. any of a collection of utterances from America's putative 43rd president. cf. BULLSHIT
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Post #233,263
11/9/05 3:37:26 PM
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Re: I feel like I could conquer the world now!
It's the drugs. Try not to drive, operate heavy machinery or make foreign policy until the euphoria passes.
cordially,
Die Welt ist alles, was der Fall ist.
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Post #233,268
11/9/05 3:49:09 PM
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I could make better foreign policy
whilst under the influence than what we have now, doncha know ;0)
But, getting my foot in the door would take some doing under this administration.
Maybe next election.
Peace,
Amy
"It's never too late to be what you might have been." ~ George Eliot
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Post #233,275
11/9/05 4:23:02 PM
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That isn't saying much
I have come to believe that idealism without discipline is a quick road to disaster, while discipline without idealism is pointless. -- Aaron Ward (my brother)
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Post #233,297
11/9/05 6:38:49 PM
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I'd have the Palestinians and Israelis singing "Kumbaya"!
and having each other over for a potluck dinner!
Fie!
Peace,
Amy
"It's never too late to be what you might have been." ~ George Eliot
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Post #233,307
11/9/05 7:28:03 PM
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By what interpretation of "for dinner"?
I have come to believe that idealism without discipline is a quick road to disaster, while discipline without idealism is pointless. -- Aaron Ward (my brother)
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Post #233,310
11/9/05 7:34:55 PM
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Um, Kosher! :-D
"It's never too late to be what you might have been." ~ George Eliot
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Post #233,311
11/9/05 7:36:42 PM
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There was an interpretation I hadn't thought of.
Why am I not surprised that it was the first that you thought of?
Cheers,
Ben
I have come to believe that idealism without discipline is a quick road to disaster, while discipline without idealism is pointless. -- Aaron Ward (my brother)
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Post #233,313
11/9/05 7:38:56 PM
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'Coz I'm in rare form, Bebe! ;)
"It's never too late to be what you might have been." ~ George Eliot
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Post #233,320
11/9/05 8:53:34 PM
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s/rare/raw/
I have come to believe that idealism without discipline is a quick road to disaster, while discipline without idealism is pointless. -- Aaron Ward (my brother)
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Post #233,324
11/9/05 10:04:19 PM
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Raw is for sushi.
"It's never too late to be what you might have been." ~ George Eliot
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Post #233,347
11/10/05 9:21:41 AM
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Um...errr....um....
If you push something hard enough, it will fall over. Fudd's First Law of Opposition
[link|mailto:bepatient@aol.com|BePatient]
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