Beautiful and eloquent writing aside
I read this and red flags were popping up all over the place. This sounds like something bigger than you can manage on your own. Have you gotten in to see someone? You need some relief from all this. The thing about depression is that we cant will it or wish it away, no matter how hard we try. If that worked, none of us would be depressed. But you know that.
All that anger you're carrying around has turned inward. There doesnt need to be anyone out there to accept it. You need to let it go.
Put yourself first and do what is necessary to take care of yourself. Do it now.
Laura
