you might want to consider [link|http://www.mepis.org/node/1462|downloading Mepis]; it's got really good hardware detection for compatability, and may well allow you to do everything you want while you struggle with the Windows install. It's a live CD; you don't have to install it to use it - so you won't get THAT headache, anyway.

Other than that, feel better, and I wish you success in tilting at the government windmills.