Re: Your denial confirms it
Sure, any of these things could theoretically happen. But I would have to work really hard to make myself actually worry about them. It sounds like you have to work really hard to convince yourself that you don't have to worry about them. That's not reasonable.
I know it isn't reasonable. That's why it's called Panic-Anxiety. There are different kinds, and mine is unreasonable fear and not dealing with no-win situations. But you would probably understand more if you knew my background, and how my father came from a small Kentucky town to the "big" city of St. Louis. Due to that, and the radical differences of how you live in both places, he more or less "taught" me to be afraid of everything, something I've been undoing for years.... with much success in many areas, I might add.
But you've described unreasonable fears about things that are very unlikely to happen. You've convinced yourself that any of them really could happen at any time. It sounds like you're so afraid of what might happen that you actually miss out on much of what makes life worth living.
I don't think I miss out on much. There are things I won't do myself, such as drive to Granite City alone anymore, because I tend to screw up and end up in a bad neighborhood.. (this has happened before), and there are things I prefer to avoid, like flying. But I do live life to the fullest in my opinion, that is, a life I'm happy and satisfied with. The fear is kind of like something deep down inside, that I wrestle with whenever it tries to appear.. it doesn't prevent me from doing something I truly want to do. Does that help?
There could be a razor blade in that chocolate ice cream. Better not eat it.
There could be subliminal messages in that music. Better turn the radio off.
A meteroite could strike at any minute. Better stay inside, behind locked doors, with sandbags on the roof, wearing a helmet, forever.
Hehehe, nah... nothing to that extreme. In fact, during the 9/11 hype, I didn't even go buy duct-tape and cardboard or whatever all that nonsense was. Most of my fears have a basis, despite how unreasonable they are, so I work on that basis.
My dad told me over and over for years, don't go downstairs after 10, you'll get hurt, or something will happen to you. So for years, if I tried to go downstairs after 10:00 p.m. my heart would pound and I would be afraid. I searched out the basis for this, and learned he was just not wanting his "young child" at the time to be downstairs unsupervised that late at night. It wasn't really that something "down there" would burst out and grab me. Knowing that made me able to conquer my fear, and I "CAN" go downstairs after 10:00 p.m. now. My heart still races sometimes, if I truly think about what I'm doing, but I still manage to go down and do whatever it is needs to be done.
Most of my fears have that basis, either Dad drove them into my brain, or someone else did, or I developed a misunderstanding about something and considered it a threat. But when I conquer one, I'm proud...
Hehehe, I remember dad saying when I was about 19 or so, "Don't go down to downtown St. Louis, you'll get raped and mugged." Well, my boyfriend at the time took me to the city to the Soldier's Memorial and Union Station, and I remember when I got home, I said to my dad, "Daddy, I went downtown and saw Union Station and I didn't get raped and mugged!"
My fears are really my problem, and I've been treating them for years, and many have been conquered to whatever degree they can be. It's my mind that's the hardest to conquer. :)
Edit: I thought of something to add. You say you are safe, and you know you are. I say I'm safe to the best I can be, barring something unexpected or surreal.
Brenda
P.S. Insert obligatory flame words here.
Edited by
Nightowl
July 22, 2005, 12:39:14 PM EDT
Re: Your denial confirms it
Sure, any of these things could theoretically happen. But I would have to work really hard to make myself actually worry about them. It sounds like you have to work really hard to convince yourself that you don't have to worry about them. That's not reasonable.
I know it isn't reasonable. That's why it's called Panic-Anxiety. There are different kinds, and mine is unreasonable fear and not dealing with no-win situations. But you would probably understand more if you knew my background, and how my father came from a small Kentucky town to the "big" city of St. Louis. Due to that, and the radical differences of how you live in both places, he more or less "taught" me to be afraid of everything, something I've been undoing for years.... with much success in many areas, I might add.
But you've described unreasonable fears about things that are very unlikely to happen. You've convinced yourself that any of them really could happen at any time. It sounds like you're so afraid of what might happen that you actually miss out on much of what makes life worth living.
I don't think I miss out on much. There are things I won't do myself, such as drive to Granite City alone anymore, because I tend to screw up and end up in a bad neighborhood.. (this has happened before), and there are things I prefer to avoid, like flying. But I do live life to the fullest in my opinion, that is, a life I'm happy and satisfied with. The fear is kind of like something deep down inside, that I wrestle with whenever it tries to appear.. it doesn't prevent me from doing something I truly want to do. Does that help?
There could be a razor blade in that chocolate ice cream. Better not eat it.
There could be subliminal messages in that music. Better turn the radio off.
A meteroite could strike at any minute. Better stay inside, behind locked doors, with sandbags on the roof, wearing a helmet, forever.
Hehehe, nah... nothing to that extreme. In fact, during the 9/11 hype, I didn't even go buy duct-tape and cardboard or whatever all that nonsense was. Most of my fears have a basis, despite how unreasonable they are, so I work on that basis.
My dad told me over and over for years, don't go downstairs after 10, you'll get hurt, or something will happen to you. So for years, if I tried to go downstairs after 10:00 p.m. my heart would pound and I would be afraid. I searched out the basis for this, and learned he was just not wanting his "young child" at the time to be downstairs unsupervised that late at night. It wasn't really that something "down there" would burst out and grab me. Knowing that made me able to conquer my fear, and I "CAN" go downstairs after 10:00 p.m. now. My heart still races sometimes, if I truly think about what I'm doing, but I still manage to go down and do whatever it is needs to be done.
Most of my fears have that basis, either Dad drove them into my brain, or someone else did, or I developed a misunderstanding about something and considered it a threat. But when I conquer one, I'm proud...
Hehehe, I remember dad saying when I was about 19 or so, "Don't go down to downtown St. Louis, you'll get raped and mugged." Well, my boyfriend at the time took me to the city to the Soldier's Memorial and Union Station, and I remember when I got home, I said to my dad, "Daddy, I went downtown and saw Union Station and I didn't get raped and mugged!"
My fears are really my problem, and I've been treating them for years, and many have been conquered to whatever degree they can be. It's my mind that's the hardest to conquer. :)
Brenda
P.S. Insert obligatory flame words here.
"I see little yellow butterflies fluttering round my head and hear little happy bluebirds singing overhead....all will be just fine!... Hmmmm someone get me a net!"
