If the RAM sticks don't fit, there's a reason.
Go [link|http://www.crucial.com/search/srchrslt.asp?type=All&ANDOR=AND&rowcount=20&cv=Crucial&keywords=ECC+128MB&submit=Go|here] at Crucial and see what type of 128 MB ECC sticks you have. Note that one is 168 pin PC100 SDRAM 3.3v, the rest are 184 pin DDR 2.5-2.6V sticks, with a 200 pin SODIMM stick (likely for a laptop) thrown in for good measure. (You can also search by the Dell model if you know it.)
[edit:]The Crucial link above only shows the 168 pin DIMM as being ECC, the rest are non-ECC. Note that the 168 pin DIMM has 2 notches while the 184 pin DIMM has only one (click on the part numbers to see pictures). Since the [link|http://z.iwethey.org/forums/render/content/show?contentid=208997|head post] mentions 2 notches, I suspect that he has 168 pin DIMMs and the motherboard wants 184 pins.[/edit]
Trying to make the memory fit will cause problems. Don't do it.
What do you need for the new motherboard? Some of us may have stuff we can send you.
Cheers,
Scott.