Post #159,173
6/9/04 10:03:12 AM
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Runaway
Jessica, 17 y/o daughter. Last day of school yesterday. 1/2 day. Decided to go to the Mall (Mall of America) with Ryan, her boyfriend, Becca, her 15 y/o sister and two of her sister's girl friends. Called mom and TOLD her that were on the bus on the way. Sister had been told that permission was granted day before. They were to stay together and ride the bus back home.
Jessica and Ryan promptly ditched Becca and her friends. Becca then called home for me pick her and her friend up. I left a message on Jessica's phone that she was to come home, call me. Got to the mall, found Becca and friends, started home. Got stuck in construction zone traffic. Jessica called. Wanted to know where Becca and friends were. Told her that she was to have stayed with Becca, and since she didn't Becca had called me for a ride. Told Jessica that I'd be back at the mall in 10 minutes to pick up her and Ryan.
Got out of traffic, flipped lanes and returned. No Jessica. Called and left another message telling her where I was waiting. 15 minutes pass. Called wife and had her call Jessica to tell her where we were waiting. Wife called back to say that Jessica started yelling and screaming at her, hated us, glad to leave to be leaving (she is to report for Army basic training TODAY), would find her own way to reporting station, wasn't going to even stop and say good-bye to mom, and was going to take the bus home with Ryan. This was at 9:00 p.m.
11:00 wife and I figure that she was at Ryan's house and we went to bed. Wife woke up at 1:15 a.m. Jessica still not home. Ryan's house not answering phone. I drive over to Ryan's house (duplex, he lives upstairs with his mother). Outside porch door is locked, can't get to the doorbell. Pound on the door, no response. Called the house, no answer.
Called wife. Since we are not sure that she is at Ryan's house, I called police and filed missing child/runaway report. Provide all the necessary information. Since we don't know if she is at Ryan's they won't come knocking at his door, but will pick her up if seen. I called Ryan's house again and left message that we had filed the missing child report. Called Jessica's cell phone and left message that we had filed a missing child report.
Went home and back to bed. This morning, after I'm at work (8:00) Ryan's mom called and said that Jessica was NOT at her house. Jessica and Ryan had taken the bus together from the mall to the transfer point downtown. At that point Jessica told Ryan she was "mad" at us and was going to spend the night at a friend's house and promptly jumped on another bus. Ryan, being the good boyfriend, let her go, call his mom to come and pick him up and went to bed. He also didn't bother to check which bus route Jessica took.
So, daughter's not home, wife is frantic (Jessica happens to be mom's "favorite" daughter), and Jessica has a 6:00 p.m. reporting time for Army. One "good" thing is that she has all her clothing for Army still at the house.
And it's only 9:00 a.m. I need a drink.
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Post #159,174
6/9/04 10:09:56 AM
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Called the Army yet?
They would know if she reported. Sad to say that's not looking likely but there's always hope. Good luck.
===
Implicitly condoning stupidity since 2001.
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Post #159,176
6/9/04 10:19:56 AM
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Not yet
She is to report to a hotel (Courtyard Marriott) today by 1800. Army picks them up tomorrow morning 0430 and brings them to MEPS and then on to the airport for shipment to Ft. Jackson SC.
This is totally out of character. Told my wife one of three possibilities, from least likely to most likely.
1. Drugs
2. Pregnant
3. Scared shitless from comments made by friends on last day before Army. (She has not indicated any nervousness, said she was a little "scared")
4. Something we haven't thought about yet.
If her stuff is still at home when I get back from my little league game (only coach, so I can't skip it) at 1930, then I'll grab her stuff and drive to the Marriott and find the Army liasion and report her AWOL.
I hope she's not that foolish.
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Post #159,178
6/9/04 10:30:55 AM
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I vote for #3. Fingers crosssed for all of you.
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Post #159,179
6/9/04 10:31:35 AM
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Since she has a 6pm report time
and obviously stressored out the wazoo, go do little league with no worries, drop clothes off at Marriott with a note and check with the marriott MUCH later, then freak out. No point in freaking out early. Understand completely.
thanx,
bill
Anchorage AK: House for sale 3 bed 1 bath 1440 sq feet huge lot near Cheney Lake 175K FSBO 813.273.3518
Time for Lord Stanley to get a Tan
questions, help? [link|mailto:pappas@catholic.org|email pappas at catholic.org]
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Post #159,181
6/9/04 10:35:50 AM
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Good luck, sincerely hope nothing happened to her
To deny the indirect purchaser, who in this case is the ultimate purchaser, the right to seek relief from unlawful conduct, would essentially remove the word consumer from the Consumer Protection Act
- [link|http://www.techworld.com/opsys/news/index.cfm?NewsID=1246&Page=1&pagePos=20|Nebraska Supreme Court]
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Post #159,186
6/9/04 10:49:22 AM
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Good luck. Hope it works out well.
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Post #159,195
6/9/04 11:55:46 AM
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Good luck with resolution, Joe!
Alex
Honor has not to be won; it must only not be lost. -- Arthur Schopenhauer (1788-1860), German philosopher
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Post #159,227
6/9/04 1:12:50 PM
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Sorry to hear that.
I hope you all have a quick resolution that gets the fam back together again in one piece... :P
Tired of lying in the sunshine staying home to watch the rain.
You are young and life is long and there is time to kill today.
And then one day you find ten years have got behind you.
No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun.
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Post #159,233
6/9/04 1:41:42 PM
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Re: Runaway
Have her locked up. Only thing that will work is harsh drastic action. When she's 18 and she still "hates you", bye.
The system will view you as a sorry father, get ready.
-drl
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Post #159,234
6/9/04 1:49:40 PM
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No need
Since she's apparently signed up for a hitch, it's likely that the Army takes a dim view of such matters.
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Post #159,266
6/9/04 4:56:08 PM
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Ross, are u forgetting your own youth ...
This kid needs support despite the rupture in family harmony.
Everyone will grow past this episode & adding more heat to the situation is not going to make it any easier. At 17 she is legally capable of making her own way in the world even if so young.
In just a few years she may well have a partner have her own family. Turning a manageable crisis in to an unforgetable sore doesn't do anyone any good.
Any therapist will point out a very clear 'cry for help'.
Doug M
_________________________________________________________
"Blinding ignorance does mislead us. O! Wretched mortals, open your eyes!".
-- Leonardo Da Vinci
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Post #159,274
6/9/04 5:49:58 PM
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Re: Ross, are u forgetting your own youth ...
Of course I do, and my sister's, and that's why I say the only thing that will work in the long run is maximum force applied while she is a minor. Life is hard, you have to be harder.
Coddling irresponsible behavior in kids is our main problem over here. We treat our adults like human garbage, but our kids can do no wrong. What she has done is plain old self-centered, self-indulgent, hurtful WRONG, and she should be made to understand it.
-drl
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Post #159,288
6/9/04 8:09:02 PM
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Re: Ross, are u forgetting your own youth ...
Never said to 'coddle' her. Just not to make the matter worse that it already is. She *knows* she has behaved badly. Rubbing it in might have some impact on a 13-15 y.o., but this lass is 17 & quite capable of walking. Police can't force her home any more than parents can.
Again, she is facing a big lifestyle change & as tough as some 17 y.o.s think they are the fears of such a major change can cause an odd reaction. The descriptions given thus far of her 'reaction' seem classic. Does she really 'hate' her mom or pop (of course not), does she dislike her brothers/sisters enough to want to disrupt their lives, again the obvious answer is not at all. Is she doing any of this - yes. Is she being selfish - certainly looks like it. Is she still a growing young girl with a personal crisis - Yes.
Without knowing all details, self would be inclined to tell her to work out what she wants to do then come in to discuss. Minimal fuss, no codling, just some support & understanding. It means taking a risk but it is amazing how responsive kids of that age can be if they suddenly see you are willing to let them take control. Hand the problem to her & stand by to help.
Cheers Doug
_________________________________________________________
"Blinding ignorance does mislead us. O! Wretched mortals, open your eyes!".
-- Leonardo Da Vinci
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Post #159,239
6/9/04 1:59:44 PM
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That's harsh
I hope she's just needs time to calm down from whatever has her bugged.
Have fun,
Carl Forde
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Post #159,240
6/9/04 2:02:03 PM
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Re: That's harsh
Maybe all the jingoism RE Iraq and the military has a downside (you think?) - like scaring the shit out of 17yr old girls who have got it in their head that they are being cast to the wolves.
-drl
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Post #159,264
6/9/04 4:49:37 PM
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Hope it sorts itself out ok. Delicate age but it passes ...
Not much else to do but let her work it out. It appears that the impending change in lifestyle has her on edge.
Just hope she doesn't push herself into a corner wiith regard to the rest of the family. Am sure you know that she needs all the support she can get (she will know the problems she has caused).
Cheers - Doug
_________________________________________________________
"Blinding ignorance does mislead us. O! Wretched mortals, open your eyes!".
-- Leonardo Da Vinci
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Post #159,279
6/9/04 6:25:15 PM
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Found her yet?
If she doesn't show up, is this AWOL?
If she's a minor, and can't sign a contract, does this mean you had to sign to allow her to go into the army?
So if she does nto show up, does this mean whatever legal issues she would be facing will be faced by you instead, since you signed the contract?
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Post #159,285
6/9/04 7:10:35 PM
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Actually 17 is legal age for Girls to do the Army thing.
--
[link|mailto:greg@gregfolkert.net|greg],
[link|http://www.iwethey.org/ed_curry|REMEMBER ED CURRY!] @ iwethey
I've decided to become a perfectionist.
That way I'll have more reasons to hate people.
Your recycled electrons annoy me. Please use new electrons.
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Post #159,319
6/10/04 7:44:26 AM
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Found and off to Army
Wanted to take Box's advice and just wait it out. However, wife would have nothing to do with that. I got the "you don't care since she's not your daughter". (She my step daughter) So I initiated searches.
Police went to boyfriend's house, no one answered. End of their involvement.
Called numerous friends. Cruised neighborhood.
Contacted her recruiter.
Contacted the shipping hotel (kids are dropped off at a local hotel the night before shipment instead of relying on the kids to get to MEPS at 0500).
Grandma and grandma's male friend came over to help.
Finally around 3:15 one of her friends called and told us where she was hiding. She was with her boyfriend's mom at her work. If I can prove that boyfriend's mom had her/knew where she was the entire time, there'll be some serious shit with her.
Mom and I went to the work. She was hiding in back with bf mom. She said she wasn't going to come with us. I gave her a simple choice. Either come with us, or we'd wait until the MPs arrive to pick her up. She decided to come with us. Called police and cleared missing person report. Called recruiter and told him that she was found, and called the hotel and had them remove the call me if found flag. Since it was now too late to get her to the hotel and then back for the little league game, I told the hotel that I'd have her there by 2000. Mom and I then took Jessica with us to the little league game. By the end of the game (we got our ass whipped 16-0), Jessica had calmed down and was "docile". Took her to her hotel, mom got her good bye hugs, and we left.
Jessica's reasons don't match her actions, so we still don't know what really was going on. She said that she was at a friend's house, not Ryan's, but she won't tell us who's house. Mom and I think she was either at Ryan's house or that Ryan's mom put them up somewhere for the night. (Both Ryan and Jessica were pissed at us because we didn't give Jessica permission to "sleep over" at Ryan's house after her going away party.)
Oh well, unless she gets discharged early, we don't have to worry about her until September.
Thanks everyone for the advice, thoughts and prayers. May need more come September when she returns for her senior year in HS, and when she turns 18 (middle of September).
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Post #159,321
6/10/04 7:49:00 AM
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Re: Found and off to Army
Prosecute the mother as much as possible.
Glad it worked out, I hope they kick her ass but good, and she learns her lesson.
-drl
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Post #159,328
6/10/04 9:09:47 AM
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If I can find ANY proof that BF mom knew where she was
I will. My wife had talked to her and was promised "I'll call you as soon as I hear from her." I know that didn't happen.
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Post #159,366
6/10/04 1:47:10 PM
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Learning her lesson...
Just like Private Pyle.
[image|http://www.dasfilmarchiv.de/vincent_phillip_d_onofrio_full_metal.jpg||||]
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Post #159,433
6/10/04 9:00:36 PM
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Re: Learning her lesson...
This is reality, Scott.
-drl
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Post #159,436
6/10/04 9:55:33 PM
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Er, what?
Are you talking to Chris?
Regards,
-scott anderson
"Welcome to Rivendell, Mr. Anderson..."
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Post #159,448
6/10/04 11:04:41 PM
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Re: Er, what?
No, Scott 2. I always get them confused.
-drl
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Post #159,461
6/10/04 11:29:36 PM
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Either way, you were responding to Chris' post...
Regards,
-scott anderson
"Welcome to Rivendell, Mr. Anderson..."
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Post #159,466
6/10/04 11:36:42 PM
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Re: Either way, you were responding to Chris' post...
I was thinking outside the thread.
-drl
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Post #159,473
6/10/04 11:52:46 PM
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You rang?
I'm generally flattered that you get Chris and me confused. The image from "Full Metal Jacket" conjures up rather disturbing memories though.
Anyway, if you want to take this to another thread, I'll see if I can oblige.
Cheers,
Scott.
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Post #159,487
6/11/04 12:20:50 AM
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Re: You rang?
No, it was a response to ChrisR - I actually think of you two as the same person sometimes.
-drl
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Post #159,505
6/11/04 12:45:52 AM
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Wonder why. IANAPG.
I'm not a [link|http://web.archive.org/web/20020205064912/w3.one.net/~jweirich/oostuff/|programming god]. Not even a decent programming lackey....
Cheers,
Scott.
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Post #159,506
6/11/04 1:14:59 AM
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Where's the LRPD: When someone asks if you're a god....
Compared to Admin, we're all [link|http://z.iwethey.org/forums/render/board/show?boardid=1|beggars and braggarts]. :-)
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Post #159,323
6/10/04 7:51:33 AM
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She's going reserves?
Didn't know they'd let you go to boot camp before the senior year like that. Well I'm glad you found her. And it does sound (to me anyway) like it's all about the boyfriend.
I didn't believe he'd watch her hop a bus and not know to where. He knew the whole time. Even if he didn't look at the bus, he'd have been with her when she bought the ticket.
===
Implicitly condoning stupidity since 2001.
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Post #159,327
6/10/04 9:08:04 AM
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Split Training
Both the National Guard and Reserves have a program called "Split Training". High School Juniors can enlist at age 17. The go to Basic Training during the summer between Junior and Senior year. During thier Senior year the attend the drills with the rest of the unit. They actually are part of the unit. After graduation they then attend AIT (advance individual training) a.k.a. specialty training, in Jessica's case, Supply School. After completion of AIT they are then "deployable" if the unit gets activated.
Regarding bus, it was a metro city bus. In the Twin Cities we have a number of "Transit Stations" where multiple bus routes connect. Just hop on, pay your dollar (or give you transfer) and off you go. However, not to have seen the 6" number on either the front, side or back of the bus is hard to believe.
Now, if she thought I was giving her a hard time and always on her case, what's she going to think about the Drill Sergeants?
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Post #159,341
6/10/04 10:37:28 AM
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Especially if...
You send the Drill Sergeant a letter telling of her exploits before she was shipped.
OH, BTW, send here some cookies, chocolates in a Foo-Foo box and a gushy "Hope they are treating you OK!" Card.
Make sure there is lace and Pastel Colors abound.
Let us know if she likes the "Homemade 'Care' Package"
Of course, you realize she will never forget your generosity.
--
[link|mailto:greg@gregfolkert.net|greg],
[link|http://www.iwethey.org/ed_curry|REMEMBER ED CURRY!] @ iwethey
I've decided to become a perfectionist.
That way I'll have more reasons to hate people.
Your recycled electrons annoy me. Please use new electrons.
|
Post #159,342
6/10/04 10:39:22 AM
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you a baaad man
Anchorage AK: House for sale 3 bed 1 bath 1440 sq feet huge lot near Cheney Lake 175K FSBO 813.273.3518
Asking the mole if he liked a pair of shoes was like asking a cat if he liked algebra: Andrew Vachss
questions, help? [link|mailto:pappas@catholic.org|email pappas at catholic.org]
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Post #159,345
6/10/04 10:49:00 AM
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If I wasn't the responsible parent
That is soooo tempting. But, as a responsible parent, I cannot hold grudges, nor attempt to "get even". Once punishment has been meted out, all's forgotten (unless there is a repeat "performance").
Thinking back on my basic, that would be a fitting "reward".
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Post #159,348
6/10/04 11:03:18 AM
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When you find out
Her mailing addy, let me know!!!
I'll be sure to include those "must haves" in a care package.
As a concerned IWETHEY member, anything to help out you know.
--
[link|mailto:greg@gregfolkert.net|greg],
[link|http://www.iwethey.org/ed_curry|REMEMBER ED CURRY!] @ iwethey
I've decided to become a perfectionist.
That way I'll have more reasons to hate people.
Your recycled electrons annoy me. Please use new electrons.
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Post #159,450
6/10/04 11:07:18 PM
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Re: When you find out
I wouldn't get involved.
-drl
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Post #159,568
6/11/04 12:44:59 PM
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No need to get in my knickers.
I'd only send a care package and not a telling of the war-stories.
And, I fergets, When was your boot camp?
--
[link|mailto:greg@gregfolkert.net|greg],
[link|http://www.iwethey.org/ed_curry|REMEMBER ED CURRY!] @ iwethey
We got another Mass Exodus Doorway Jam.
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Post #159,356
6/10/04 12:32:55 PM
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Repeat?
Will she be 18 the next time she sees you?
You are going to have to accept that this relationship is changed.
Either treat her as an adult who happens to be a guest at your house, or you will never have a civil time with her again. This means she comes and goes at will, and sleeps with whoever she wants.
If she needs money, you can attempt to negotiate, but don't ever expect to enfore your moraility on her again.
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Post #159,371
6/10/04 2:02:08 PM
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Enforced morality
There is such a thing as "house rules" and parental respect.
If she doesn't want to obey house rules (no sex in our house, let us know where she is going and when to expect her return, etc) then she can move out. She has already played that threat. I told her "go ahead".
I'm used to all of the girls dis'n me. However, when they start on their own mom, that's too far. They can make those statements from their own residence, not ours.
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Post #159,380
6/10/04 3:37:21 PM
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You lied
You've already said that you've caught them multiple times.
Yet they still live there.
Which in turn means you really would like them to hide it better.
Which means you would prefer to be lied to then have direct and honest conversations.
We've just crossed into Ashton's Crazy Aunt Martha. Everyone knows she's there, but polite company would not discuss her.
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Post #159,391
6/10/04 4:44:23 PM
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Not quite crazy
We have had the frank open discussion about what teenage boys want and what that causes and could lead into. And I have offered birth control options.
Mom lives in the fantasy world where her daughters would never do that.
So the house rule is NO SEX. When boyfriend is here, doors must be open. Since my wife is handicapped and cannot easily negotiate the stairs, it's up to me to "make the rounds". I have never caught them in "the act", just teenage fumbling and groping. His hands under her clothing, her hands grabbing his crotch, things like that. Pisses the daughter off every time she "gets caught".
Just trying to preserve mom's fantasy.
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Post #159,395
6/10/04 4:57:23 PM
6/10/04 4:59:44 PM
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I support you on the rules ...
Did same with my 3 girls only to find out the oldest had obeyed rules but once she was home & we were asleep, had climbed out her window & was off.
We never knew. Only found out many years later.
Seems that head-strong girls at that age can be damned head-strong.
That daughter is now a mom with 5 of her own :-) one coming up to same age she was when she did her exploring.
Doug M
(you have double my sympathy re being step da)
_________________________________________________________
"Blinding ignorance does mislead us. O! Wretched mortals, open your eyes!".
-- Leonardo Da Vinci
Edited by dmarker
June 10, 2004, 04:59:44 PM EDT
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Post #159,404
6/10/04 5:19:21 PM
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Oh, boy.
Susan is about as headstrong as they get. So is my mom.
I hope there's some submissive genes somewhere in there that get expressed in any daughters I might have... :P
Tired of lying in the sunshine staying home to watch the rain.
You are young and life is long and there is time to kill today.
And then one day you find ten years have got behind you.
No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun.
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Post #159,386
6/10/04 4:22:29 PM
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You forgot to include the essentials
An old teddy bear and her "favorite underwear". Make sure that the underwear is either very frilly or says something really syrupy on it.
Cheers,
Ben
To deny the indirect purchaser, who in this case is the ultimate purchaser, the right to seek relief from unlawful conduct, would essentially remove the word consumer from the Consumer Protection Act
- [link|http://www.techworld.com/opsys/news/index.cfm?NewsID=1246&Page=1&pagePos=20|Nebraska Supreme Court]
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Post #159,387
6/10/04 4:26:11 PM
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Lipstick kiss mark on the seal -- and "s,w.a.k."
===
Implicitly condoning stupidity since 2001.
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Post #159,388
6/10/04 4:26:50 PM
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Lucky pants!
Peter
[link|http://www.debian.org|Shill For Hire]
[link|http://www.kuro5hin.org|There is no K5 Cabal]
[link|http://guildenstern.dyndns.org|Blog]
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Post #159,393
6/10/04 4:48:40 PM
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Ben, have you SEEN teenage girl underwear lately?
I mean without the microscope? Ain't any room for any writing. Basically a piece of elastic with a thread from front to back.
No, they haven't "modeled" for me, they just leave all their clean laundry either in the dryer or on top of the dryer. Took me a while to accept that my daughters were actually wearing clothing like that.
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Post #159,396
6/10/04 5:01:38 PM
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The word is "thong".
And for every distressed father, there are a hundred guys thanking their lucky stars that this is the fashion... ;-)
Regards,
-scott anderson
"Welcome to Rivendell, Mr. Anderson..."
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Post #159,400
6/10/04 5:09:28 PM
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I used "underwear" 'cuz Ben did. I KNOW the word
And all the other feminine items required for raising daughters. As stated, my wife is handicapped, so guess who gets to do the shopping. Heaven help me if I bring home the wrong size/brand. Not many men shopping in those aisles. ;->
And about the thongs, before the daughters got part-time jobs, and their own clothing money, it was "Dad (or Joe from step-daughters), can I get these?" as they held up a wispy piece of material that sufficed as "underwear".
FWIW, my wife wears them also, and, therefore, I am a fan of them, just NOT on my daughters. :-)
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Post #159,401
6/10/04 5:11:53 PM
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:-D
Regards,
-scott anderson
"Welcome to Rivendell, Mr. Anderson..."
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Post #159,405
6/10/04 5:19:31 PM
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Butt floss.
Bah. I'm sorry, but I don't like hershey streaks on my SO's undies.
Tired of lying in the sunshine staying home to watch the rain.
You are young and life is long and there is time to kill today.
And then one day you find ten years have got behind you.
No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun.
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Post #159,415
6/10/04 6:03:47 PM
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then dont wear em!
Anchorage AK: House for sale 3 bed 1 bath 1440 sq feet huge lot near Cheney Lake 175K FSBO 813.273.3518
Asking the mole if he liked a pair of shoes was like asking a cat if he liked algebra: Andrew Vachss
questions, help? [link|mailto:pappas@catholic.org|email pappas at catholic.org]
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Post #159,419
6/10/04 6:06:29 PM
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You mean she doesn't wipe? eeyew. ;-j
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Post #159,399
6/10/04 5:08:34 PM
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STOP THAT!
I have two little girls. I hope to have at least 10 more years before I have to think about that. Don't make me start early.
===
Implicitly condoning stupidity since 2001.
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Post #159,402
6/10/04 5:14:02 PM
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Yer DOOOOOOOOOOMED!
/me is very glad he has two boys...
Regards,
-scott anderson
"Welcome to Rivendell, Mr. Anderson..."
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Post #159,409
6/10/04 5:27:10 PM
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Keep 'em away, ya hear!?
===
Implicitly condoning stupidity since 2001.
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Post #159,477
6/11/04 12:06:33 AM
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no SHIT!
I have 13 year old and a 12 year old. I am IN HELL.
bcnu,
Mikem
If you can read this, you are not the President.
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Post #159,406
6/10/04 5:21:24 PM
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If they are 2 or under, you have 10 years.
12 - 14 is starting time for thongs, now-a-days. Who knows, in 10 years we could either have a return to the "grandma" underwear1 or "advance" to spray on "clothing"
1Daughters were talking about what underwear was allowed at basic training. In front of all the adults, including grandma. When the oldest made the statement "only grandma underwear". I, and the girls, knew exactly what was meant and what was excluded. Older adults wanted to know what "grandma" underwear was. IOW not thongs, hicut, bikini, etc. Only the "Sears all white cotton".
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Post #159,410
6/10/04 5:28:01 PM
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4 in July, 2 in January
===
Implicitly condoning stupidity since 2001.
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Post #159,411
6/10/04 5:29:34 PM
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And this is a problem?
It just adds some peer pressure and causes her friends to mock her.
Or you could go with the frilly option. Thongs with lots of lace. Looks really pretty. :-)
Cheers,
Ben
To deny the indirect purchaser, who in this case is the ultimate purchaser, the right to seek relief from unlawful conduct, would essentially remove the word consumer from the Consumer Protection Act
- [link|http://www.techworld.com/opsys/news/index.cfm?NewsID=1246&Page=1&pagePos=20|Nebraska Supreme Court]
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Post #159,523
6/11/04 7:00:23 AM
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I was thinking about your suggestion
Sending those items, shipped as stated to a guy in basic training would have the desired effect. Razzed by all the other guys. However, sending them to a girl in basic could (would) backfire. Remember we're talking about females here. Pretty items, gushy cards, cookies.... "awwww, that's sweet". "How nice of your dad". Probably get the same result if I sent a "masculine" package.
So, on second thought, good idea, won't work.
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Post #159,340
6/10/04 10:32:02 AM
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Makes perfect sense
She in in the process of embarking on a dramatic life changing event.
She has been preparing for years for this (based on the summer training).
She is an adult. Maybe not legally, by the "minute", but she sure is
picking up the responsibilites as one.
She is leaving home.
She is in the army.
She has probably been sexually active for a while.
AND YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD ASSERT PARENTAL CONTROL TO KEEP HER FROM FROM SLEEPING (ok, HAVING SEX) WITH HER BOYFRIEND?
When she won't be seeing him again for quite some time?
When she might actually DIE before coming back (a realistic belief)?
I can easily see it from her viewpoint.
And even if she hasn't been sexually active yet, this was probably planned as the magic moment. The going away present. Her graduation into the real world.
Reminds me of a Dilbert comic (from memory).
Dilbert talking to Dogbert.
Dilbert says he's created a web porn filter.
Kid, Timmy in the background is trying it out.
Dogbert: You really think your programming skills can withold the
onslought of a million sex crazed teens?
(background noise: POP)
Dilbert: Was that the sound of Timmy eyes popping out?
Dogbert: You know, if you put a little woolen cap on a snowball it can last a while in Hell.
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Post #159,347
6/10/04 10:55:59 AM
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Me, no, Mom, Yes.
AND YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD ASSERT PARENTAL CONTROL TO KEEP HER FROM FROM SLEEPING (ok, HAVING SEX) WITH HER BOYFRIEND?
I was once a teenager/20+. Knew all the methods. Mom must have been in a coma for those years 'cuz "She never did anything like that, so she knows her daughters would never do anything like that". Even though I've CAUGHT them in various acts with their boyfriends.
I've never caught my (biological) daughters doing anything. Just means they are better at hiding. Don't try anything in your room. (visitors are allowed in room, but door must remain open. I'm free to walk in at any time. I've caught step daughter IN THEIR ROOMS WITH DOOR OPEN!)
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Post #159,346
6/10/04 10:55:06 AM
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Ah, root cause
Im not sure what the situation was prior to her leaving to join army, as the boyfriend has to deal with separation anxiety and jealousy I could understand the wish to spend night with same. It is surprising that the other mother got in on the scheme, I would tell my son to handle his own affairs as my getting involved would be against my principles. However a quick talk with her that any resulting grandkids and mother will be living with her and not you might wake the sorry bitch up.
thanx,
bill
Anchorage AK: House for sale 3 bed 1 bath 1440 sq feet huge lot near Cheney Lake 175K FSBO 813.273.3518
Asking the mole if he liked a pair of shoes was like asking a cat if he liked algebra: Andrew Vachss
questions, help? [link|mailto:pappas@catholic.org|email pappas at catholic.org]
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Post #159,359
6/10/04 1:02:28 PM
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glad she was found
here's hoping the army provides the attitude adjustment she needs.
Have fun,
Carl Forde
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Post #159,336
6/10/04 10:21:49 AM
6/10/04 11:26:31 AM
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Belated, as usual, but sincerely hoping it all worked out.
(Edit: This is what you get, when you start typing before rushing off to get a haircut, then rush back to have a meeting, the meeting drags out so long you damn near fall asleep... and only THEN do you get back to your desk and press "Submit".)
Edited by CRConrad
June 10, 2004, 11:26:31 AM EDT
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Post #159,350
6/10/04 11:28:39 AM
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funny, doesnt look like a fresh haircut :-)
Anchorage AK: House for sale 3 bed 1 bath 1440 sq feet huge lot near Cheney Lake 175K FSBO 813.273.3518
Asking the mole if he liked a pair of shoes was like asking a cat if he liked algebra: Andrew Vachss
questions, help? [link|mailto:pappas@catholic.org|email pappas at catholic.org]
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Post #159,351
6/10/04 11:39:26 AM
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I hope you got them all cut.
You'd look even worse than *I* do iffn ya didna.
--
[link|mailto:greg@gregfolkert.net|greg],
[link|http://www.iwethey.org/ed_curry|REMEMBER ED CURRY!] @ iwethey
We got another Mass Exodus Doorway Jam.
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Post #159,478
6/11/04 12:08:35 AM
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Glad to hear she's safe. Sorry I didn't see this until now.
Reading this thread, I couldn't help but think, "My horror show is just beginning." My best to you and your wife.
bcnu,
Mikem
If you can read this, you are not the President.
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Post #159,524
6/11/04 7:06:53 AM
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Thanks, and one word of advice
to you and everyone.
Remember you have two DIFFERENT daughters. I have 5 (3 step, 2 bio) daughters. Jessica is the middle child. Two are done with HS, Jessica graduates next year. And two to follow.
What works for one may not work for the other. One may need tight rein, the other free rein.
They're growing and trying to learn how to be an adult. To us that's scary. Our children are changing, growing, and soon will no longer "need" us. And it shows that we are "getting older".
Love 'em and guide 'em as best you can.
Even with boys! :-)
Good luck to ALL of us with children.
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Post #159,528
6/11/04 8:43:19 AM
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Now that she's been found ...
Did you ever imagine you'd get to say, "My daughter is missing ... someone call the Army!"
===
Implicitly condoning stupidity since 2001.
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Post #159,543
6/11/04 9:44:50 AM
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ROFL!
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Post #159,628
6/11/04 9:51:28 PM
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She didn't have to go
[link|http://www.militarywoman.org/joining.htm|http://www.militarywoman.org/joining.htm]
If you decide to join, you will be given a contract and sworn in to the Delayed Entry Program (DEP), and wait for your scheduled day to go to boot camp (ship date) - a few days later or up to a year. If something happens and you change your mind, you DO NOT have to go. Yes, your recruiter will put pressure on you, that is their job. But, remember, the military is a volunteer service - they won't send the police, can't legally force you to go, all you have to do is say "No - I've changed my mind." You don't need your Senator or Congress person to intervene. You don't have to talk to a lot of people, who will all put pressure on you. Just refuse - and say "no." They may tell you that you have to talk to a head recruiter or whomever - but - just say no.
I hope this helps some of you who are looking at perhaps enlisting. I am an officer in the Navy, have worked in recruiting and at a MEPS, so have a lot of experience in this area. For those of you trying to decide if the military is for you - I have been in for 16 years. I can't say every day has been wonderful - but I have seen the world and done more than I ever would have ever done as a civilian. All the services have something unique and valuable to offer - it just depends what you are looking for. There are some great nontraditional jobs out there that you may not have thought of. Check them all out - and don't forget the Coast Guard as an option too. Reserve and National Guard is also a good way to go if you don't think you want to try active duty for 4 years. Yes, sometimes being a woman in a man's world is frustrating, but then, you'll find that in the civilian business world also.
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Post #159,670
6/12/04 5:22:21 AM
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She enlisted in NG, not DEP.
Had been drilling with her unit, receiving pay from NG, so I think she had to go.
When I enlisted, I was DEP. I didn't go to any drills, didn't receive any pay.
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