Some reading I recommend:
[link|http://www1.fatbrain.com/asp/bookinfo/bookinfo.asp?theisbn=0891093117|Parenting with Love and Logic: Teaching Children Responsibility]

[link|http://www1.fatbrain.com/asp/bookinfo/bookinfo.asp?theisbn=1572240407|Kid Cooperation: How to Stop Yelling, Nagging & Pleading and Get Kids to Cooperate]

There are many others in a similar vein, but these two are particularly good and practical.

Hmmm, now how to apply these principles to get terrorists to cooperate...