I have been praying that you get better and that you get disability.

Don't worry about it, count it as a blessing. You now will have free time to go back to college, or do anything you want to. Do not be ashamed or feel guilty, this is what disability is for. You paid into SS all these years, and now you are justing getting back what you paid into it before SS funds run out.

I myself am going back to college and maintaining a 3.88 GPA even if my brain is swimming with perscription medication for my mental illnesses and I have problems remembering things and concentrating. Takes me longer to write papers and read pages of a book. Disability helps me to keep my house, even if I cannot keep a job. I feel no shame or guilt for this.