Perception Vs Reality

Post #122,384 by Nightowl 10/22/03 1:46:07 PM Reply	Perception Vs Reality Norman, listen carefully. Just because someone calls you lazy, or perceives that you are lazy, doesn't make them right. It's their perception. If you know you are NOT lazy, that is all that matters. It's their perception Vs the reality. Having known you many many years, and in close proximity for most of it, I know that you are not a lazy person. I know you are struggling with a lot of things that have changed your life dramatically, but you are not lazy. Pessimistic sometimes, yes, depressed sometimes, yes, but these go with the territory of the things you are dealing with. You just need to learn to understand that it DOES NOT MATTER WHAT ANYONE IN HERE SAYS TO YOU, it does not make it true. Does it make it mean? Maybe, does it make it uninformed? Sometimes, but it still does NOT MAKE IT TRUE. It doesn't matter whether I say you aren't lazy or someone else says you are, all you have to realize is what you KNOW inside is all that counts. If you stop searching for affirmation outside of your own heart and mind and soul, you'll find it. It's right there inside, where you know your own limitations and your own abilities better than anyone else. :) You're doing a lot better than before, but when you slip back on occasion, it makes people think you fell back. You didn't fall, you're just taking one step forward and two back sometimes, like anyone who is struggling with something. Take heart, trust yourself, and hang in there. Brenda "I learned to be the door, instead of the mat!" "illegitimi nil carborundum" Comment by Nightowl
Post #122,404 by orion 10/22/03 3:40:28 PM Reply	Re: Perception Vs Reality Well it is really hard when they keep on doing it non-stop. Hard to ignore, and if I ignore it it gets worse and they keep on doing it until I respond in some way. I once took a two week break from here because of it, but it didn't solve anything. Yes I know that they are wrong because I know the truth, a concept that is foreign to many of them. They have to make things up to put me down to make themselves feel better. They try to disguise it as "Giving advice or help" and I never really asked for advice or help. Some advice or help anyway, putting me down in order to give the advice or help is not actually helpful. I had to deal with people like that and worse at my past few jobs. One co-worker kept insisting that my wife was a mail order bride because she grew up in Thailand and had to marry me to become a US Citizen. He ignored the fact that she was born in the USA and moved back to Thailand when she was little, and is in fact a full US Citizen because she was born here. Then he kept on making up other stories and rumors about me that were just not true. Eventually a few Yahoo IDs got created using my real information and some bogus false info that someone added, I never found out who did it but I got Yahoo to delete some of the accounts, and others they haven't deleted yet. It prompted me to create extra Yahoo IDs to try and catch this person, and then I got into using multiple accounts on other places too like here. Well it got out of hand, and I am glad I gave that up. *"Lady I only speak two languages, English and Bad English!" - Corbin Dallas "The Fifth Element"*
Post #122,407 by Nightowl 10/22/03 4:00:27 PM Reply	Re: Perception Vs Reality Well it is really hard when they keep on doing it non-stop. Hard to ignore, and if I ignore it it gets worse and they keep on doing it until I respond in some way. I once took a two week break from here because of it, but it didn't solve anything. But if you ignore it long enough, and give them no satisfaction in doing it, they'll eventually quit because it isn't any fun anymore. They try to disguise it as "Giving advice or help" and I never really asked for advice or help ... It prompted me to create extra Yahoo IDs to try and catch this person, and then I got into using multiple accounts on other places too like here. Well it got out of hand, and I am glad I gave that up. People give advice often, whether asked or not. Sometimes it seems obvious someone needs help, so they offer it, like me. Sometimes they do it in a sarcastic fashion, which I've seen here a lot. Sometimes they just want to seem better than others, whatever the reason, doesn't matter. All advice is something to be considered, then taken or rejected, no biggie. But the more you react to them, the more they keep pushing, that's the nature of those sorts. Stop worrying about what anyone says, unless they have some hold on your future, they don't matter. :) And stopping the multi IDs was the best thing you could do, you are indeed making progress. Nightowl >8# "I learned to be the door, instead of the mat!" "illegitimi nil carborundum" Comment by Nightowl

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