{{Surely you're putting us all on - but.. you're Good! and it's kinda Fun}}

Nope, not at all. I'm gonna try and answer this post before I have to leave. If I run out of time, I'll answer the rest later.

So then - your husband and counselor are 'concerned' that, should you take a class, it likely would expose you to some information, ideas which "conflict with" your present collection of information and ideas. ('Concerned' generally connotes something like 'worried'.) And you appear to be, similarly - worried about whatever Might Be Said in a next class.

No, what they are actually worried about is that it might add to my stress. See, I'm already nervous enough about trying once again to get a job, so they want to be sure that I'm not taking a class that's going to stress me out to the point where I can't focus on that. Up till this point the class was the most important, but this time around the job search must be.

And in the past, as with your mentioned (and scary?) preconceptions of what the word evolution might mean: you solved that problem of [not changing anything in your mentation] - by

I thought maybe I could take it like I took Evolution, not having to believe it just having to learn it, i.e. know the right answers and all that, not having to change how I believe because of it.

Then too, you see nothing ironic in weighing the pros and cons of a course exploring ethics - and one which teaches say, sewing. Flip coin.

I never said I thought Evolution was scary. I said it wasn't what I believed. Since it was in direct conflict with my religious beliefs, yet I had to take it, however, I found a way to manage that without infringing on my own beliefs.

And I forgot to add this (edited). No, I don't see the irony of that, because irony and humor are two things that I'm very very bad at spotting. I can't always figure out someone is being i.e. ironic, or humorous, especially when being sarcastic. This is something I started learning something about on Affinity, and still learn about every day. So no, I don't see it, any more than I got DeSitters comment about grading a grief class on the curve as funny.

Frankly, I can't see why you would 'take' Any 'class'. You already have all the answers you want, have no intention of challenging any of your assumptions about the world - yet classes are about expanding one's narrow horizons, a piece at a time. You however, are determined not to allow such a thing to happen! 1+0=1 (also, 0+0=remains at 0) Then you say,

Well, I considered the class because of the things we were posting in here, and the willingness to be open-minded to other's opinions and thoughts. I thought it kinda tied in nicely with all that. Nothing anyone can say will change my stances on right or wrong, I've pretty much grown into those beliefs and have no desire or need to change them, but I can learn how other people believe and not affect my own beliefs, or at least I think I could.

{{Surely.. You ARE putting us on}}

I explained why I have to take a class, I thought, but in case I didn't explain well enough, here goes. I saw a counselor for many many years, from the 80's on, and he retired right before we handled the last issue, which was the job search. I started over with another counselor on it, but they quit based on the company not being financially stable. So I was understandably distressed.

I went to the local college where I knew another counselor (had seen him since 1980, and he had served as a backup when my regular one was unavailable), and asked if he would help me solve the job issue. He agreed, provided I take one class a semester to be officially a student. So I tried to pick classes that would eventually help me in the job search and reintegration into the work force, i.e. Assertive Training, Communication in Work and in Business, and Gender Communication, among others. This time I can technically take anything, but I was still trying to find a class that would be helpful in dealing with people on the job, and this sounded like a good fit, plus it was a one hour course, and there are not many of those.I need a one hour course or limited time one, because the course must come second to the job search this time.

I don't think it's fair to say I have no intentions of challenging ANY of my assumptions about the world, because I already have just by the recent postings here and opening my mind to read the books you suggested, i.e., decided maybe I should know a little more about politics.

However what I won't challenge is my value system, that is part of me, who I am and what I believe. But I don't look down on others for different values, either. The only thing I do is expect certain treatments from those who are my close friends, etc., i.e. not being lied to or about, not being treated bad, etc. etc.

I thought being willing to look up the songs suggested here, and the books suggested here indicated an open-mindedness and willingness to expand my knowledge or narrow horizons. At least that is how I saw it.

And again, no, I am not putting you on. In fact, I even considered Introduction to Politics, but it was a three hour course and more intensive, and I have to have a class that if I have to miss class or whatever based on job search issues, I can still manage to pass. Ethics seemed like a good compromise in that case.

I don't understand, "because of the things we were posting in here" and the other "reasons". Is there some magical effect in attending a "class" with a open-mind mind set-in-concrete, that I am missing? Finally you add,

I think they mean conflict because many people have gray areas in their ethics and values, where I have very very few gray areas. I prefer the world to be in black and white, but at least I'm smart enough to know it can't always be. I'm used to classes that have exact questions with exact answers, as a rule, and I think that's what worries them.

{{I Think.. You Are Putting ME On}} OR If Not! THEN:

No way, Ashton. I'm not putting you on. I used to believe all was black and white in the world, one right, one wrong. I have learned much differently since then, through experiences and other things. I still prefer the black/whites, but I accept the grays at times, and have come to understand that they exist and why. But I still prefer the classes/tests with questions that have a real answer, i.e. Which planet is farthest from the sun, as opposed to the ones that are open ended or not clearly answerable:, "How does society see gender issues in today's world?" well that's based on which "researcher" you consider views of. (or was, when I took the class).

Terminal clarity: You and your 'advisors' share a common mind-set-in-concrete. The common name for this phenomenon is Fundamentalism (doesn't matter whether one adds-in religiosity to the mix or not). So naturally! "they are worried too!" - that, just possibly an Original thought might.. sneak-into your solidified point-of-view --

No, they are worried I will get frustrated because I can't easily do the work or answer the questions. They are worried that I will gain more stress from the class than benefit. I forgot to explain more here that my counselor was mostly worried about my being in a class that didn't have clear right or wrong answers, and my husband was worried about it conflicting with my held values and beliefs. Sorry for the confusion there, it's actually two different things.

and cause you that anguish which arises from the unCertainty of a world which is decidedly NOT a film noir: but, one which is in multi-hues, quite beyond that black&white mix which you favor! OK then. No problem.

There is only one solution to freezing-time, to match your frozen-mind, its null-aspirations for the future .. and keeping your nicely sanitized world illusion free of (all that chaotic and kaleidoscopic Colorful stuff Out There). One only, that fits perfectly into your plan. Verily I say unto thee:

Get Thee to a Nunnery.

Do Not expose yourself to any further uncomfortable new thoughts - by reading more of the posts here. Your perfection in recognizing The White/The Good VS The Black/The Bad

I never said the thoughts read here made me uncomfortable. I said that sometimes I didn't understand them, but that's what asking questions and digging in the dictonary helps fix. I'm not perfect at anything, let along determining what's black and white. I can only determine what is black and white for me, and only what's gray for me. I am only responsible for my beliefs, not the beliefs of others.

-cannot be improved upon-

Only can you become less-Certain and less-Perfect, if you should happen to hear something which suggests: [You haven't a clue, are unlikely ever to find a clue] Particularly: DO NOT read that Tyranny of Words book! or especially, Small Gods!!. Should you actually read most of those words, there is a severe DANGER that some of them might alter 'things'. (It's a slim chance of course.. but let's not risk an accident.)

I don't believe reading anything will alter my long held values and beliefs. They are part of me. I once worried that if I read Mein Kampf that I might sympathize with Hitler and paint him as less of a monster. That didn't happen, although I did come to understand how he became the monster. So I'm pretty confident I can read anything and not lose who I am in the process. :)

Oh and Please: don't take up a seat in a classroom somewhere, which might be filled by a person actually interested in learning about the world. This is unfair to an honest teacher, not to mention insulting. Simply, you would be there under false pretenses. [that's probably a sin of some degree - let's look for the Exactly-Right punishment for that. For even thinking of it.]

I explained why I have to take a class. And I have gained greatly from the ones I have taken. Don't worry, most of the classes aren't anywhere near full, so there's plenty of room for other students.

Understand that I also have an ethical dilemma, which I can now solve. You see -no, likely you don't- there is nothing that I (or anyone I know) might 'do' - to assist you in your goal-less goal and your aim for a life of perpetual undisturbed comfort.

I don't know where you got that from. I've never said my aim is for a life of perpetual undisturbed comfort. If I believed that I would not even be trying again to work, after the trauma I suffered the last time. But I believe in getting back on the horse and trying again, even if it takes a long time.

In fact, if I could (and did) 'assist in this non-plan' - I should consider that I had committed an immoral act, that of premeditated fostering of Perpetual Ignorance thus Dependence, in another creature!

You weren't the only one. I have considered everyone's opinions, both on this board and others, and in real life as well. I am a researcher by nature, and i like to learn. I'm always willing to hear someone's view point, I just don't feel compelled to always accept it.

You have displayed with a clarity so unusual as to be Startling, a desire to simply Never Grow Up - Verily, like one Peter Pan. You shall remain a someone who is perpetually taken-care-of, a flesh&blood Stepford Wife. And if you have not ever viewed That seminal movie: hie thee hence (before Nunnery Novitiate, of course) - to a Video Palace and

In some ways, I won't grow up, but that's ok. My husband and I have a happier life in many respects, based on our 1100+ stuffed animal collection, our habits of silliness and our childlike loving fun. But in many other respect, I have grown up far more than I dreamed, as in being able to stand by my parents when my mom's sister died, (something I would not have dreamed of doing years ago, in fact, I avoided funerals whenever possible), being able to assist mom in all the paperwork required after her death, and in finding her and dad a lawyer, helping to get their Will together, oh yes, I grew up fast in those respect.

I also grew up emotionally. I have much less reaction to those who seek to stress me. I am more capable of not reacting, and allowing their problems to be their problems. And I have learned more and more to understand people and their different opinions, and communicate with them more accordingly. Thus, I get along with people better, even my mother with whom I fought bitterly for years. We are now good friends, and even though we don't see eye to eye, we can agree to disagree and still be fine.

Honestly Ashton, I don't know what the big deal is, or why you are so worried.

Nightowl >8#

P.S. Gotta get out of here, I'll respond to anything else later.