Well.. you asked.

Yep, I did. :)

IMhO - it is impossible to go through a social life (or even a solitary one) without ""lying"", which always can be via commission or omission. If what you meant to imply above, is:

1) "Not lying" means telling all you (think you) know on any topic which arises.

No, that's not what I mean, I mean I will not knowingly tell a lie, i.e. say to someone I did something I didn't, or say I know how to do something I didn't. I don't mean that I have to tell them every detail about something.

I realize no one is perfect, but I do my best not to ever knowingly lie to anyone or about anyone. IF I discover I inadvertently did lie about someone due to incorrect information, I correct it immediately. And I do my best to check my information before passing it on if I suspect it's untrue.

2) You imagine that .. you know (practically anything!) that is completely er True.

Nope, this is not what I mean whatsoever. I most certainly do not know practically anything.

Imagining you Never Lie is either massive self-delusion or can be shown to be an unrealizable standard among all homo-saps. Only True Believers, those whose delusion is that they possess a Direct-LAN Connection-to-Some-Gawd: ever seriously entertain the idea which you are putting forth. (Best not to lie to oneself; seems good advice I've heard given, often.)

I have knowingly lied a couple times, and had bad consequences about it way back in my past. I therefore set a standard that I would not lie ever again when asked about something, I would tell the truth. That doesn't mean every detail about something, just the truth and not a lie. So if someone asks me if I like their hair and I do not, I don't say it's horrible, or whatever, I say, "well, do you like it? and if they persist, I say, well that style isn't for me, but it's your hair." I believe that you can tell the truth in a tactful manner that will hurt the person in the least manner.

I do not ascribe to saying I like something if I don't, or to saying something the person wants to hear that I don't believe. If you ask me how my day is, for example, I won't say fine, it isn't in my vocabulary for that question, I will tell you how my day is in reality.

Caring about other people means that you tailor your words to the person and the situation, no two of which are ever identical in time and space. You are not required to give either 'excuses' nor further explain decisions; simply you phrase them in a considerate way. And then you move on.

You can tailor your words to each person without lying, and I'm trying to learn I don't have to give excuses or explanations, but it's been a hard habit to break based on low self-esteem.

Merely spilling everything in your necessarily-flawed memory is much more about making very many ill-informed judgments of 'events'.. and is a sign of neither Goodness? nor of honesty or any other nice-sounding badge people love to claim for selves. It is about laziness and narcissism, now common afflictions within this culture of Me-Me-Me, and the other banal ideas with which marketers have infected the suggestible.

I value my honesty very highly, and it is the thing I'm the most proud of. I do not consider myself high and mighty or anything else like that, just honest.

I don't think I can explain this facet of human existence further - if it hasn't already turned on a small lightbulb inside your collection of life impressions to date [?]

Thanks for your opinions. :)

Nightowl >8#