The '-d' switch is 'download only'. To confirm, manually run 'apt-get dist-upgrade -s -u' (show only, show updated) to see what's going to run. Then 'apt-get dist-upgrade -u' to actually commit the changes.
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If you want to skip installing a package, put it on hold: echo 'packagename hold' | dpkg --set-selections will do this (or pass a file, or a 'here' document, or...).
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Edit: yes, I meant "dist-upgrade", not "update" (above, fixed, twice)