Heard a good Churchill quote. You'll have to imagine the voices.

Churchill meets Montgomery for dinner. Churchill was legendary for eating and drinking too much. Monty was equally Spartan. So, Monty serves up not much food and no booze. Churchill complains "That was poor." Monty: "I DON'T drink, I DON'T smoke, and I am ONE-HUNDRED PERCENT FIT!" Churchill, probably imitating the sing-song and slapping his belly: "I DO drink, I DO smoke, and I am TWO-HUNDRED PERCENT FIT!"