Calling someone an asshole is no way to communicate with him. I call peopl e assholes from time to time, but never for that purpose. The only time I ever call someone an asshole is to get on the record precisely and unequivocably where I stand, and only after I've given up communication with the asshole as a hopeless cause. It's purely for the benefit of onlookers. No other way of using such an epithet can serve any constructive purpose.

Think about it. Calling someone an asshole is like saying to someone "you're just not listening." In fact, it emcompasses that very idea. Now what's the point of telling somebody he's not listening, since you know he's not listening to you when you tell him? What's the point of telling him anything, per se?

Bottom line: your statement of intent doesn't make sense.