You're right about the wiggle thing. It does get our attention and that's OK.

It's when you start fantasizing about what you want to do with the other person that you start to get in trouble. It when your imagination gets ahead of building a relationship with the other person.

I dated my wife for 5 years. Lord knows I wanted to "do her" early on and she wanted the same very much. However, we managed to hold out until we were certain that we were committed to marriage before "doing it". It was very hard, but we had to let our relationship blossom in other ways (friendship, partnership, commitment) before we could do the fun stuff.

I just wish that men could somehow learn that women are people first, with feelings, sensitivities, opinions, and strengths and weaknesses. The sex part needs to come later as a result of a committed relationship.

But, because we are friends now, we have a great marriage, great kids, and I have a great family and church life.

On the other hand, I have an acquaintance at work who lets his tallywhacker do the talking, and he's about to destroy his 2nd marriage (the negative wife talk has already started), and by his third he probably won't even bother with the ceremony. He has two kids by two women (so far). I really feel sorry for him, because he can't seem to "get it right". Also, he's an acquaintence, not a friend, because he is so full of himself that it's really a joke around the office.