the one my father and I were named after, had just such a problem with his wife long ago. He went on a fishing trip and didn't bring his hip-waders with him. They went craw fishing, and he came back home. His wife (my grandmother) saw that there was no mud on his shoes and suspected him of cheating. He claimed he borrowed an extra pair from his friend, but she wouldn't accept that answer. So she grabbed a knife (she was Bohemean/Slavic) and chased after him, and he grabbed a pot to cover up his family jewels just in case she got at them. He went outside and she didn't chase him out there because she didn't want the neighbors to think she was that psychotic. Anyway a few hours passed and he shouted "Eleanor are you over your mad spell yet?" Then he went in a slept on the couch. The next day she talked with a neighbor and found out that her husband was telling the truth, and did borrow the extra pair of hip-waders.

Hmmm, I do get blamed for things I didn't do, but none so serious as cheating on my wife. I don't cheat, but I do get blamed for other things. So maybe that is money well spent just in case? But then, if she finds out that I bought a pair, she may think that I will cheat on her and use the protection? I just got blammed for dumping a soda in the icebox today. I suspect my 3 year old son did it, as I only drank water today. My wife saw it, blamed me for not noticing it (I didn't use the icebox today, how would I know? I went to a school picnic and had breakfast and lunch there) and I reason my son did it while I was in the bathroom taking a shower and using the toliet. My wife came home from lunch, saw the spilled soda and then blamed me. Most likely true to her nature she will apologize to me later for blaming me.

anything that happens is my *ss, because he is my child.