If these folks ever investigated the meaning of 'rapture'

Post #342,878 by Ashton 5/21/11 7:33:54 PM Reply	If these folks ever investigated the meaning of 'rapture' and spent more time in that direction instead of mainlining all the demagogues -- there'd be more of their tribe, next.. Uhh .... .... CANCEL THAT. I could almost see voting for ~~Palin~~ Cthulhu in 2012 on the grounds that this sorry ratfucking excuse for a republic, this savage, smirking, predatory empire deserves her. Bring on the Rapture, motherfuckers! -- via RC
Post #342,879 by Andrew Grygus 5/21/11 8:33:35 PM 5/21/11 8:48:48 PM Reply	Actually, "Rapture" is a misunderstanding. It is properly "Raptor". You see, this was all set up by giant winged Space Aliens as an automatic food harvesting system. It was abandoned when they found that humans smelled bad and didn't taste real good either. They abandoned it, but didn't bother to turn it off, so it periodically runs right up to the final step. The final step never takes place because the self selected Chosen Ones are not transported to the rendering ship - because it is no longer in orbit. I am planning to start a radio ministry to bring this message of TRUTH to the people. If we pray hard enough (and donate enough money to the cause) the Space Raptors will hear our plea and return to Earth Orbit. Why would we want this? This is why: If your flesh is rent by the razor sharp beak of a Space Raptor, your soul escapes your body and is instantly translated to Heaven for Life Everlasting! This is by a special Covenant between the Space Raptors and God Almighty - a Covenant that allows the Space Raptors to feed upon God's chosen people as a means of accelerating the ascension of the Righteous into Heaven. Of course I'll be selling a complete line of deodorants and flavor enhancers so people can make themselves more attractive to the Space Raptors. Edited by Andrew Grygus May 21, 2011, 08:48:48 PM EDT Expand All History
Post #342,883 by drook 5/21/11 10:16:18 PM Reply	Copyright that RIGHT NOW -- Drew
Post #342,885 by Andrew Grygus 5/21/11 11:17:39 PM Reply	Well - there goes my mad money for this month. Copyright is automatic, but I will notify it. Even better - I am now the proud owner of domains: devineraptor.org and devineraptor.com The Church of the Devine Raptor should have Web hosting and a home page in a couple of days. Yes, I've had a few beers - but no more than usual. I don't quite know where I'm going with this - but I intend to have fun with it, and offend a good number of Right Thinking folks.
Post #342,886 by Another Scott 5/21/11 11:26:09 PM Reply	:-)
Post #342,887 by malraux 5/21/11 11:56:58 PM Reply	Hmmmm... What you probably wanted, though was "divineraptor.com"... Regards, -scott Welcome to Rivendell, Mr. Anderson.
Post #342,888 by Andrew Grygus 5/22/11 12:08:34 AM 5/22/11 12:16:18 AM Reply	Ooops - bought 'em right, wrote it wrong Edited by Andrew Grygus May 22, 2011, 12:16:18 AM EDT Expand All History
Post #342,893 by Ashton 5/22/11 4:45:54 AM Reply	There was a Dr. Devine in the Oakland CA area many moons ago.. Another Money Preacher with flashy cars (as was his Devine-Right-per-Gawd == direct xmission.)
Post #342,895 by folkert 5/22/11 8:44:13 AM Reply	Re: Hmmmm... Domain Name: DIVINERAPTOR.COM Status: clientTransferProhibited Updated Date: 22-may-2011 Creation Date: 22-may-2011 Expiration Date: 22-may-2012 Administrative Contact, Technical Contact: Grygus, Andrew aax@aaxnet.com Automation Access [SNIP] And here: Domain Name:DIVINERAPTOR.ORG Created On:22-May-2011 04:14:55 UTC Last Updated On:22-May-2011 04:16:02 UTC Expiration Date:22-May-2012 04:14:55 UTC Sponsoring Registrar:Network Solutions LLC (R63-LROR) Status:CLIENT TRANSFER PROHIBITED Status:TRANSFER PROHIBITED Status:ADDPERIOD Registrant Name:Automation Access [SNIP]
Post #342,896 by Andrew Grygus 5/22/11 9:49:54 AM Reply	Yeah, found I'd goofed that too - bought the right ones . . and I'll get those canceled. Too much laughing and not enough thinking.
Post #342,889 by drook 5/22/11 12:31:00 AM Reply	I can host unlimited domains off my account If you want to just throw up a quick WordPress site, I can have you up in about an hour. -- Drew
Post #342,892 by Andrew Grygus 5/22/11 1:18:58 AM Reply	Thanks for the offer, but I think I already have what I need
Post #342,894 by Ashton 5/22/11 5:48:20 AM Reply	You'll need a few props.. (Just study the habits and tics of the prominent Money-Gurus, Murican style) Herewith a few basics, more could ensue -- it's formulaic, donchaknow? 1) Get that Cadillac Eldorado ca 1959 [BIG fins] -- mandatory transport for any Raptor-in-Chief's point man. 2) Be sure that 'Rose' (not-her-real-name) is a hermaphrodite, with whom unSpeakable perversions can be rumored (but never photographed; PhotoShop will do for the imagineering sub-cult denizens.) 3) Diamond [Big] stickpin, at least one Armani with embroidered D V monogram, best seen if the Caddy is the de rigeur convertible model. As for shoes ... prolly OJ has tarnished that particular blasé brandname [Blahnik or something] Gotta be Expensive. Ya gots to show that you'unses what's thick with Gawd's favored Raptorfolk -- are advised [ca '69 slang] If'n ya Got It, Flaunt It! and like that. Now when the $$$$ starts rolling in ... you'll need periodic flavor-enhancers aka Stunts: Say.. you acquire a pristine '52-54 Vincent Black Shadow, deliverable in these parts. No modrin techno-geeky gadgetry can touch the Shadow, for pure timeless Class. And evoking (more) curiosity. And converts. I'd be happy to pilot it down old Hwy 33 to your area, with my specially decorated jacket, sporting on back, *________________* *RAPTORZ RULEZ* (Coalinga, Firebaugh and similar Gawd-forsaken off-map places will hear of this Veloci~~pede~~Raptor acolyte, connecting The Chosen Breathren) -- as its sanctified driver becomes Harbinger of The Word ... even yet unto their World, while enroute to HQ-South. I could wear my leather Mad Hatter hat and full mess-dress USAF uniform (under The logo'd Jacket), stop for a few minutes of yea verilys and secret signs -- at appointed retreats/stops for teh Faith filled. Just a thought. Er, later ... can I borrow the Shadow once in a while? Or thrice.
Post #342,897 by drook 5/22/11 9:54:10 AM Reply	Where'd you get the mess dress? Where you a flyboy in a previous incarnation? -- Drew
Post #342,914 by Ashton 5/22/11 6:32:45 PM Reply	Berkeley miscl. clothing shop (Wore it to the party at Lab, the day 'heavy ions' first got accelerated. My pic made it to front page of the House Organ.) S.O .made a lightning run with the gear, cummerbund etc. for the occasion. So she got to play, too. Convergence happened (my long-time association with this outfit) when I got a chance to quip to a Gov-connected local elite, ~~ "Ve of zee physics-industrial-militia vant to know how ve can make a veapon mit dis teknologi!" But I reckon that usage in Service to Raptorz, could be a worthy encore, next..
Post #342,916 by Andrew Grygus 5/22/11 7:18:43 PM Reply	You seem really hung up on that bike. You should just go out and buy one. So what if you have to mortgage your soul to pay for it. What good is a soul without the bike anyway?
Post #342,917 by Another Scott 5/22/11 7:40:25 PM Reply	The memories and stories are better than reliving them. I loved a 1970 Pontiac GTO growing up, but even though I sometimes toy with the idea of getting one sometime in the future, some things are best left in the past. Of course, a GTO is nothing like a Black Shadow (which truly was an amazing machine), but I imagine that even if Ashton could get one he would think long and hard about actually putting the money down. Lots of kitties could be helped with $75k. ;-) Cheers, Scott.
Post #342,918 by drook 5/22/11 7:57:46 PM Reply	And few things wreck a good bout of nostalgia quite like ... ... realizing you're too old to find out if it was as good as you remember. -- Drew
Post #342,921 by Another Scott 5/22/11 8:02:31 PM Reply	Yeabut, not applicable here. I'm sure Ashton could still ride down the highway like this if the mood struck - http://upload.wikime...2C_record_run.jpg ;-D Cheers, Scott.
Post #342,923 by drook 5/22/11 8:07:03 PM Reply	Dude! Planking!!!11!1!11one!!1!! -- Drew
Post #342,926 by Another Scott 5/22/11 8:12:22 PM Reply	So it is! 63 years ahead of his time. ;-)
Post #342,935 by Ashton 5/22/11 10:13:12 PM Reply	Heh.. I should have remembered that photo! And the brief story of that ride: Rollie Free was hitting high 140s, noted that his leathers were fluttering / no skin-tight fit, that set. Time for the record run was evanescing, he had fresh experience that bike was handling well, no wobbles, was rarin to GO ---> So he did That and juuust broke 150, a record which stood for n-years (too lazy to look up.) And yeah.. slightly reduced reaction-time / inner-ear-gyroscope etc. are no hazard to piloting such a beast routinely. [that was a Lightning, of course not a Shadow ] Not about to attempt '100 map-miles in an hour' these days and I've seen 122+ a few years ago in the Plutocrat, just for a poor-man's 'dynamometer check' of HP at 4000' alt. Still haven't found a good formula for extrapolating that test to likely HP at sea level. I no wind tunnel to calibrate shape efficiency. You're also right about the (maybe 100K+ by now) and what Else that could do. This scheme only works if there are so many C-notes flooding into Raptor HQ, that even Andrew stops updating the spreadsheet. Certainly I'd overtly embezzle a few sacks of those for general kitty welfare, if I could. The Vincent would be chump change at the L Ron Hubbard level. And we all know now that Barnum was Right, eh? Zoooom
Post #342,927 by drook 5/22/11 8:13:44 PM 5/22/11 8:18:51 PM Reply	Good thing you jumped on the domain http://www.forkparty...ternet-reactions/ @FakeJDGreear: I hope Harold Camping heard God right. Because if the raptors are coming on Saturday, IÂm not prepared after all. #May21 ... and ... cartoonic: I am so ready for the Raptor. ThereÂs a reason Humans are still around and dinosaurs arenÂt. We win, every time. ... and ... brightcitylight: I heard about the coming Raptors on May 21st. Make sure you replace all door handles with knobs. I hear they canÂt open them. Godspeed. -- Drew Edited by drook May 22, 2011, 08:18:51 PM EDT Expand All History

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