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New Could be worse..they could be COTTONWOODS!
Gack! What a PITA of a tree. They have a habit much like Andy's Blue Gum; they're basically a weed with bark. Unlike most trees, they come in genders. The male spits sticky pollen pods in early spring, about the size of a kernel of corn (but narrower). They stick to everything, and if you run them over with an electric lawnmower (and if that's that kind of lawnmower you have, you cannot keep from running them over; they're everyfuckingwhere), they burst open, and the pollen shorts out the motor. Walk on them, and you'll track them everywhere (including Puerto Rico...). The females turn that pollen into seeds...and a cottonwood seed pod is about the size of a sweet pea, and when it dries, it splits open to dump out a bunch of wispy fibrous cottony things in which is buried the actual seed. And there are literraly bajillions of these fuzz balls per tree.

When they're not having sexual relations, both male and female spend their time dropping leaves basically all year long, and just for fun, will periodically divest themselves of various sized twigs, branches, and even whole limbs, for no apparent reason. (But a stiff breeze is plenty enough of an excuse!).

They're also a very wet tree, which means that they make a good lightning rod.

Finally, the damn things are fucking lazy, and won't send roots down very far; they like to spread out. Which means they like to burrow their roots just underneath such ammenities as driveways and sidewalks. (They don't seem to have an affinity for drainage pipes, but I don't know how they like septic fields; you can be sure I'm much happer not knowing....)

And they're butt-ugly trees to boot. But they grow very quickly. The one we took down in our front yard (a female) was 25 years old, and about 100 feet tall. They're reputed to be the most populous tree in Illinois. (And this surprises you how?)
jb4
"So don't pay attention to the approval ratings that say 68% of Americans disapprove of the job this man is doing. I ask you this, does that not also logically mean that 68% approve of the job he's not doing? Think about it. I haven't."
Stephen Colbert, at the White House Correspondent's Dinner 29Apr06
New Well, little did I know . . .
When I moved in here one of the first things I did was install a fireplace - because my feeling is that a house without a fireplace is not a home.

I got this big cylindrical steel thing that was being remaindered by Sears because conical ones were "in". The triple wall stainless steel chimney cost me a whole of a lot more than the fireplace.

I lined it with rocks and concrete, and I built a platform for it and layered the top with reinforced concrete covered with ceramic tile. Fortunately the platform was movable because I later moved it from one wall to another.

Early on I was concerned about where I could get enough wood. Little did I know that this tiny suburban patch of land with 4 blue gums could produce more burnables than I really wanted to deal with.

Every morning I light a candle on the breakfast table and then a ritual fire in the fireplace (always with the same match). If I don't have corrigated boxes from Tech Data and another distributors or put in a Trader Joe's grocery bag full of eucalyptus debris.

I'm not buying so much hardware any more so I'm starting to gain, but this energy resource is still far from depleted - the debris is still almost a foot thick in some areas. I've got stacks of branches cut to 18" and more waiting to be cut.

And about once a year a giant red or lime green fire wagon pulls up out front and deploys a batalion of yellow clad and helmeted fire persons with axes who want to inspect my fireplace because some condo dwelling nincompoop smelled smoke.

Oh well, they need the exercise. Firepersons at the La Crescenta station are notorious for passing up promotions for fear they'll be transfered to some place where they'll actually have to go out and fight fires. It's like being in the Coast Guard and stationed at Newport Beach.
[link|http://www.aaxnet.com|AAx]
Expand Edited by Andrew Grygus Aug. 17, 2006, 01:30:23 AM EDT
     Emerald ash borer attacks! - (admin) - (19)
         SUKC - (Yendor)
         And I thought the cicadas we just got were bad - (drewk)
         Don't get a silver maple. - (Another Scott) - (5)
             I just planted a sweetgum - (drewk) - (1)
                 The neighbors have a couple. - (Another Scott)
             I've had no issues with my maples - (bepatient) - (2)
                 Those are nice ones. :-) Silvers aren't. - (Another Scott) - (1)
                     Re: Those are nice ones. :-) Silvers aren't. - (dws)
         fast growing weed? try Birch , Aspens or poplar - (boxley)
         Well, most of my shade here is provided by . . . - (Andrew Grygus) - (4)
             So Blue Gum == Eucalyptus? -NT - (drewk) - (3)
                 Yes, a huge, fast growing, bark shedding . . . - (Andrew Grygus) - (2)
                     Could be worse..they could be COTTONWOODS! - (jb4) - (1)
                         Well, little did I know . . . - (Andrew Grygus)
         What tree did you end up getting, if any? -NT - (Another Scott) - (4)
             Good site for tree information at Virginia Tech. - (Another Scott) - (1)
                 Maples here. 1 silver, 2 japanese, and many reds. - (n3jja)
             None yet. - (admin) - (1)
                 Of course they do. - (Yendor)

Who sliced the cheddar?
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