The best example of how I think about forgiveness

Is discussed by Flashman during the siege of cawnpore getting ready for the last charge that will mean the end. I will lift this whole from his book.

Scud East
Please bear with me I know you are bitter, because you think I abandoned you in Russia, left you to die while I escaped. Oh I know it was my duty, and all that to get to Raglan... but the truth is" he broke off and had a gulp to himself"-the truth is I was glad to leave you. There! its out at last ... oh if you know how it has been tormenting me these two years past! That weight on my soul -- that I abandoned you in a spirit of hatred and sinful vengeance. No ...let me finish! I hated you then because ... because of the way you treated Valla ... when you flung her into the snow! I could have killed you for it!"

Flashman
He was in a rare taking, no error; a Rugby concience pouring out is a hell of a performance. He wasnt telling me a thing I didnt know or guess at the time-- I know these pious bastards better than they know themselves you see.

Scud East skipping ahead
I wanted to tell you and shake your hand old schoolfellow, and here from you that my sin is forgiven, If you can find it in your heart, I trust you can....

Flashman skipping ahead
"Well you could go fart in a bottle"

Scud East skipping ahead
"I only need a word! I know I wronged you! I wondered if you too loved Valla? Did you love her?

Flashman
"About four or five times a week" I replied"but you neednt be jealous; she wasnt nearly as good a ride as her Aunt Sara, you should have tried a steambath with that one"

Scud East
Oh God Flashman!! You are unspeakable! Vile! God help you!

Flashman
"Unspeakable and vile I may be but at least I am no hypocrite like you; the last thing you want is god to help me. You dont want my forgiveness either; you just want to be able to forgive yourself. Well run along and do it, Scud and thank me for making it easier on you. After what you heard tonight your concience shouldnt trouble you a bit.
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Forgiveness is a gift freely given, not earned.
thanx,
bill

Thanks for the excerpt. It certainly clarifies the problems with giving out forgivness too easily.

Forgiveness is a gift freely given, not earned.

I sort-of agree. But it reminds me of cases where especially pious people have forgiven their attackers without any expression of regret by the attackers. I don't understand that - from a purely human perspective. I mean, I can point to lines in religious texts which describe the actions, and I can recall stories of people who were eventually moved by such forgivenss to change their lives, but it seems to me that too often such forgiveness is comparable to inattentive parents who let their kids grow up without supervision. It seems to me that it can often be destructive as far as helping to build a civil society. That's why I think it's best that forgiveness result from a meeting of the minds between the two parties - not be freely given, but not earned as a reward either.

Thanks again.

Cheers,
Scott.

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