A message from God: re current unpleasantness.

Post #15,530 by Ashton 10/29/01 1:47:54 AM Reply	A message from God: re current unpleasantness. [link\|http://www.exquisitecorpse.org/\|No more virgins in Paradise] See the ARNOLD WESKER title for this startling revelation. It appears to be our duty to inform our opponents: Yer gonna die horny and.. Remain so. Care to hedge yer bets?
Post #15,611 by gtall 10/29/01 6:50:29 PM Reply	So, Allah is a pimp? Virgins in Heaven, this seems somewhat paradoxical. Your body's dead, but your Holy Muslim Dick lives on? Not only that, there are other bodies...errr...of the female persuasion. How'd they get there? What about babies, are babies made in Heaven? Do they come down here on holiday? If you get 70 virgins, then after you do them, they aren't virgins anymore. Presumably you won't stop doing them. Isn't that like driving a shiney red sports car after you've wrecked it? So, Islam is reduced to offering sexual favors for corporeal tasks. This would make Islam a pimp. But, it is a Holy Pimp because it is offering it for Allah. Hmmmm...just push the logic a little further, this would make...ummm...I hardly dare to say this, Allah be Praised....this would make Allah a Holy Pimp. Wow, Ashton, I'm truly humbled!!! And...errmmm...being an infidel, if I were to convert, could I get a crack at 70 tight ones? Now, that's the argument I'd like to see Colin Powell make to the Muslims of the World. (I gotta stop writing these during The Holy Cocktail Hour...ooops...another sexual reference....I....I think I'm ready. How does one become a Muslim...do 70 virgins?) Gerard Allwein
Post #15,613 by Ashton 10/29/01 7:33:43 PM Reply	Thou sayest Oh unworthy camel dung-hill of a roach-eating, sheep deflowering suppurating Infidel - whose mother was spawned from the droppings of mutated bats as his father's syphilitic corpse rotted atop. As to Mr. : Powell morphing this into a Wal-Mart ad for just plain Goodne$$ ? Methinks that the alternative promise: of sitting next to some humongous GoldThrone Thingie, to the Right-Wing Hand of She Who Must be Obeyed? All the while listening to harp arpeggios and practicing adoring phrases (with overblown sax accompaniment?) This going on forever with no recess... glorp VS aforementioned defective-Y chromosome chemical imbalances; those hallucinations being offered with embellishments and a Full Warranty of Performance in advance of Reward... (plus free HeroMartyr Video to show friends - before Reward) chortle ..might create some sense of personal quandary, in a 17 year-old sexually-starved wacko who ain't never even seen a virgin, just the locked wrapping? You tell me which load of BS will attract which kinds of flies? Ashton Fantasy Broker to () All <> Sides [] ..who Wag-Ed the Dog and created, Evanescent Eulogies Ltd. we.. Make It So, Captain Picard! Sorry, the only conversions allowed are to - camelfood - after target practice.
Post #15,640 by boxley 10/29/01 10:10:54 PM Reply	ya got the rythmn but gotta work on the metaphors "Oh unworthy camel dung-hill of a roach-eating, sheep deflowering suppurating Infidel - whose mother was spawned from the droppings of mutated bats as his father's syphilitic corpse rotted atop." Gotta do 2 things impune dads sexual orientation and impune moms morals. try Oh unworthy camel dung-hill of a roach-eating, sheep deflowering suppurating Infidel good start who was spawned by the seed of 100 dogs sodomising your fathers mouth while he deflowered young boys then spit into the cavernous maw of your mother after being spraddled by an arthiritic and impotent donkey. got the point? that will make them mad and laugh at the same time. Wanna get in a knife fight? sideways glance, your mother or your sister, then grab your groin. thanx, bill tshirt front "born to die before I get old" thshirt back "fscked another one didnja?"
Post #15,665 by Ashton 10/30/01 1:24:58 AM Reply	May a thousand llamas urinate in my tea, Effendi My rancid miserable recollections could never compete with a one who can recount his entire genealogy, while glancing sideways from astride his mount. May the Grand Vizier bring the essence of fifty goats to thy sheepskin.

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