Additionally, I discovered that I really loathe PHP, so I wouldn't expect to find the motivation to finish that version very soon. ;-)
I started laughing and couldn't stop. A giggle still lurks in my gut.
(wipes eyes) Seriously, what would you rewrite this excellent example of programming in? (I do not think "excellent programming" is an exaggeration given the dufoids at Infoworld.) (actually if all software were written this well, a lot of us would be out of business.) (I haven't seen one burp, hiccup, or puke since I've been here! Geez, looking at code I've done, I'm embarrassed.)