Somebody smother me in Purell

Post #149,909 by lincoln 4/3/04 11:17:34 PM Reply	Somebody smother me in Purell I need to be disinfected. The wife last night hits me with: "Honey, I promised our son I'd take him to the Easter Egg hunt tomorrow morning, but since my hours got switched and I have to open the store, I can't take him, so you'll have to do it." "Sure." I say. "No problem. Where is it?" Turns out to be Wal-Mart. God damn, fucking destroyer of life as we know it, promoting-the-shipping-of-American-jobs-to-China Wal-Mart. And to put the icing on the cake, after we arrive, they take the kids out back to the grassy area behind the store and do A FUCKING WAL-MART CHEER!!! The bitch in charge lets out a "Gimme a 'W', Gimme an 'A'..." And I'm mouthing "Gimme a fucking .357 to put you down for good, you dentally challenged, massively overweight pile of useless cellulite" under my breath. My kid shoots me a "Why are you making me go through this shit?" look, and I'm thinking "Skank, shut the fuck up and let the kids go grab the fucking candy, so we can all get the hell outta here." Then they bring out some loser employee in a pathetic Easter bunny costume that's too short so you can see his made in China $12.99 Wal-Mart gym shoes, and he's not even wearing a mask so you can see that he didn't shave this morning, and when the skank tells all of the kids to gather around him for a group shot, half of them don't want to get within 10 feet of the minimum wage earning dork. Shit, I sure as hell wouldn't. At least my kid got a ton of free candy...ought to tide him over for the next few weeks. My wife owes me. Big time. lincoln "Windows XP has so many holes in its security that any reasonable user will conclude it was designed by the same German officer who created the prison compound in "Hogan's Heroes." - Andy Ihnatko, Chicago Sun-Times [link\|mailto:bconnors@ev1.net\|contact me]
Post #149,910 by boxley 4/3/04 11:33:51 PM Reply	you havnt been to an easter egg hunt until you have been to an alaskan one. Word goes out that there will be 10 schwinn bicycles to be given away so every yuppie scrote in 200 miles shows up with their little snots in tow. Anchorage in April is breakup time, Mounds of snow covering bogs 4 ft deepin slushy water. City workers hide the eggs the night before (plastic eggs of course) holding little candies or prize slips. 800 kids with parents attached, the starting gun goes. All these yuppie fucks go racing into the woods hauling their kids screaming in fear. We just watch in amazement. The parents knock little kids into the ground, snatch eggs out of the hands of other peoples kids cursing and grunting, kids waist deep in icy water screaming which causes a moose to come out and see what the commotion is. The moose freaks and starts charging, cop whips out his 38 and tries to kill it. Pisses it off but causing it to wallowing screaming in pain. Last one I ever went to. thanx, bill "You're just like me streak. You never left the free-fire zone.You think aspirins and meetings and cold showers are going to clean out your head. What you want is God's permission to paint the trees with the bad guys. That wont happen big mon." Clete questions, help? [link\|mailto:pappas@catholic.org\|email pappas at catholic.org]
Post #149,911 by Another Scott 4/3/04 11:38:02 PM Reply	See #146080. :-)
Post #149,932 by lincoln 4/4/04 1:00:19 AM Reply	Replace the moose with fire ant mounds and it pretty much matches what I saw this morning. No wait, we already had the moose - the woman (and I use that term without conviction) in charge, or maybe the better word to use is walrus... lincoln "Windows XP has so many holes in its security that any reasonable user will conclude it was designed by the same German officer who created the prison compound in "Hogan's Heroes." - Andy Ihnatko, Chicago Sun-Times [link\|mailto:bconnors@ev1.net\|contact me]
Post #150,002 by CRConrad 4/4/04 6:15:33 PM Reply	Oh, shaddappa yo fucking face, whine-ass. I need to be disinfected. Yeah, but maybe not in the way you thought you meant. The wife last night hits me with: "Honey, I promised our son I'd take him to the Easter Egg hunt tomorrow morning, but since my hours got switched and I have to open the store, I can't take him, so you'll have to do it." To "take him to the Easter Egg hunt"?!? If you want your sprog to have an Easter Egg hunt, you make him an Easter Egg hunt, you fucking cheapskate. Turns out to be Wal-Mart. God damn, fucking destroyer of life as we know it, promoting-the-shipping-of-American-jobs-to-China Wal-Mart. So where the fuck were your vaunted principles, that you didn't turn the fuck around and haul your sprog away from there post-haste? [Snipped: Whining about the exact nature of humiliations no man of principle would subject his offspring to, but which Walmart-are-evil-cheapskates!-And-give-my-kid-candy-for-free! "Lincoln"() gladly had his endure -- only to top that glaring example of the fucking DEFINITION of hypocrisy, by having the fucking NERVE to whine about it here.] At least my kid got a ton of free candy...ought to tide him over for the next few weeks. Ah: "Loot, loot, loot, and it's all mine, mine, mine!" The very essence of the Walmart mentality in a nutshell. And your complaint was what, exactly, again...? (Not to mention that it sounds like your [no doubt already unbearable] sprog is going to grow up into at least as much of a blimp as that woman you so callously deride for her obesity. Hypocrite much, Bri--Oh, sorry, I forgot whom I was talking to. Of course you are.) (): The abuse of his name must have Ol' Abe spinning in his grave like the turbines of an F14 jet fighter. [link\|mailto:MyUserId@MyISP.CountryCode\|Christian R. Conrad] (I live in Finland, and my e-mail in-box is at the Saunalahti company.) Your lies are of Microsoftian Scale and boring to boot. Your 'depression' may be the closest you ever come to recognizing truth: you have no 'inferiority complex', you are inferior - and something inside you recognizes this. - [link\|http://z.iwethey.org/forums/render/content/show?contentid=71575\|Ashton Brown]
Post #150,006 by lincoln 4/4/04 6:56:41 PM Reply	If I want lip from you I'll rattle my zipper. So where the fuck were your vaunted principles, that you didn't turn the fuck around and haul your sprog away from there post-haste? The wife made a promise to my son, I made sure it wasn't broken. I guess you give and then break your word all the time, right? Or do you actually swallow your arrogance and KEEP your word every now and then? I didn't want to be there, but a promise is a promise, and I'm a man of my word. If you want your sprog to have an Easter Egg hunt, you make him an Easter Egg hunt, you fucking cheapskate. That occurs NEXT week, on Easter Sunday. Ah: "Loot, loot, loot, and it's all mine, mine, mine!" Know any 10 year old kids who don't think like that? And your complaint was what, exactly, again...? If you're too stupid to figure it out, go stick your head in a toilet bowl and flush it a few times. Be sure to use Ty-D-Bowl; the color'll do ya good. lincoln "Windows XP has so many holes in its security that any reasonable user will conclude it was designed by the same German officer who created the prison compound in "Hogan's Heroes." - Andy Ihnatko, Chicago Sun-Times [link\|mailto:bconnors@ev1.net\|contact me]

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