We've got an IBM partner who installed IBM DB2 UDB v8.1 on a Redhat box for a web app for us. I noticed that in their database there were no stored procedures, no DRI, no check constraints, no triggers, etc. They did have composite character primary keys, however. So, in my extention of functionality to the app, I'm writing a couple of simple stored procedures in the same database. I create them in every fucking way imaginable, save them, but I cannot "build" (compile) them. I get this error, so I check with the "IBM Partner" goobers and they don't have a clue. I google, find some foo about "add the user to this group and that group, etc." No luck. Then after searching for several hours I see a service pack ("Fixpack" in Big Blue language) that addresses a similar, though not the same, bug. I put that fixpack on and voila - the sp's compile. My bug is fixed by this "fixpack" BUT NOT DOC'D as fixed. AND NO ONE ELSE THAT I COULD FIND ENCOUNTERED THIS PROBLEM.

Now, what I'd like some one to explain to me is HOW IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS HOLY CAN ANY FUCKING COMPANY RELEASE TO PRODUCTION A GODDAMNED DATABASE SERVER PRODUCT THAT WON'T EVEN COMPILE STORED PROCEDURES? HOW THE HELL DID THAT GET OUT OF BETA? NO ONE AT IBM KNOWS HOW TO BUILD AN SQL STORED PROCEDURE WITH THEIR OWN FUCKING PRODUCT???? NOBODY THAT USES THIS POS DATABASE ENGINE USES STORED PROCEDURES? WTF!

Now I'm left wondering what else is fucked up with this product. Jesus H. Christ! IBM ships their shit WITH CORE FUNCTIONALITY NOT WORKING.

This is even dumber than MSFT shipping Sql 7 with the "or" optimizer truncating where clauses of ad hoc queries.