In the meantime, those needing a little comic relief can at least rely on excerpts from the Fox lawsuit. "Franken is neither a journalist nor a television news personality," the suit alleges. "He is not a well-respected voice in American politics; rather, he appears to be shrill and unstable. His views lack any serious depth or insight."

"Shrill and unstable?" You mean like Fox favorite Ann Coulter?

On the other hand, I did appreciate the distinction that Fox draws between a journalist and a television news personality. I do wonder, though: In which category would it place O'Reilly?

My favorite allegation, though, is the claim that Franken is a "parasite" who is "commonly perceived as having to trade off the name recognition of others in order to make money."

My gosh. Have the Fox lawyers never watched O'Reilly's show, or read his newspaper column? Trading off the name recognition of others is one of O'Reilly's favorite shticks. He has made himself rich and famous in large part by feeding off public resentment of people who are rich and famous.

For proof, we need look no further than O'Reilly's most recent syndicated newspaper column, marketed to editorial pages around the country. In the space of just a few hundred words, O'Reilly manages to cram in the names of J. Lo, Ben Affleck, Madonna, Angelina Jolie, Billy Bob Thornton, Demi Moore, Elizabeth Taylor, Richard Burton, Roseanne, Michael Jackson, Bob Hope, Holly Hunter, Meryl Streep and Eminem.

It's also interesting to note what's not in the lawsuit. Nowhere in its legal complaint does Fox allege that Franken had committed libel by prominently including O'Reilly among the "lying liars." The network apparently doesn't want to risk proving Franken wrong in a court of law.

Fair And Balanced
By: Bill O'Reilly for BillOReilly.com
Thursday, Aug 14, 2003

In a few weeks the Fox News Channel will celebrate its seventh birthday awash in publicity and success.

From virtually nothing, the organization that employs me has risen up to become one of the most powerful news agencies in the country. This is a stunning achievement but it's also one that has engendered bitterness and controversy.

Fox has succeeded by mixing a populist-traditional, pro-American editorial posture with lively debate that includes voices the traditional network news organizations would never allow airtime.

The accusation that Fox is a conservative network is pure propaganda as poll after poll has demonstrated that FNC's audience is across the board ideologically and demographically.

The latest survey taken by Mediamark Research finds that more ultra-conservative viewers watch CNN than FNC.

But facts don't matter to the Fox haters who are, themselves, primarily ultra-liberal.

The dominance of FNC in the cable news world has shattered the stranglehold the left had on TV news for decades, and that has caused fear and loathing in some political circles.

Using liberal-leaning newspapers and publishing houses, the critics of FNC have unleashed defamatory personal attacks on me and other Fox news analysts and have attempted to denigrate the entire network.

If Fox News crashed and burned tomorrow, these people would toast marshmallows in the flames.

Now Fox News is striking back by putting the demonizers on notice that they will be held responsible when they violate trademarks or launch defamatory personal attacks on Fox personnel.

It is simply a sorry joke to see a political activist like Al Franken labeled a "satirist" by The New York Times.

Attempting to smear and destroy the reputations of those with whom you politically disagree is not satire.

If that were the case Richard Nixon's Watergate plumbers would all be writing for Saturday Night Live. Hello, Donald Segretti, thanks for the satire, what a wit you are.

Fox News has become the highest rated news network on cable because we feature lively debate and all honest voices are welcome.

We don't do drive-by character assassinations and we don't denigrate opposing points of view by launching gratuitous personal attacks.

FNC's presentation is in the tradition of the raucous town meeting where passion and conviction is on display.

We challenge people of all political persuasions.

It makes me sick to see intellectually dishonest individuals hide behind the first amendment to spread propaganda, libel and slander.

But this is a growing trend in America where the exchange of ideas often degenerates into verbal mud wrestling with intent to injure.

The pubahs at The New York Times know what a smear campaign is but apparently if it's directed at an enterprise the paper disapproves of it's okay.

I wonder how the Times' editorialists would react if their faces graced a book cover accompanied by the word "liar."

Oh that's right, they'd consider it "satire."

This country is a better place because Fox News has succeeded. Now there is a wider range of thought and expression available 24/7. But the country is worse off because of the brutal repercussions of that success.

A nation that prides itself on diversity of opinion and acceptance of differing political points-of-view is being subjected to an orgy of media defamation and sometimes outright hatred.

And satire has nothing to do with it.