I'm not insensitive to your feelings, more interested in them. And one thing I've found interesting among some of the GA pilots I've met is a "fear" akin to yours.
You write [emphasis mine]:
But the coalesence of all the things - fire, shredding, falling, being utterly out of control, extreme dismemberment...
More than one GA pilot has told me that they don't like flying commercial for that very reason. One summed it up, "The only place I like to sit in an airplane is in one of the two front seats, where I can reach the controls."