Okay, so I ... um... "up"graded to "testing"; used dselect to grab apache2-common and its dependencies, and installed.
Now, reading apache2 docs at apache.org, you start the server using a script called apachectl--the problem is, there is no apachectl script on my machine. So...where do I start looking for the pieces that dselect didn't install? Or is this abnormal behavior?
btw, yes, I just did an apt-get update and upgrade and even tried install apache2-common again, but it said "it's already the latest version".
:/