My solution: write something that works in a single weekend with the tools I have, that doesn't contain even the slightest hint of breaking the installed base. By 2:00 AM Monday morning.

Your solution: use (even learn!) another development environment and language (or two), and get it to run on the webserver, increasing maintenance costs every step of the way. It might be done in February.

I prefer my solution. Run with yours if you like. Alternately, write the DLL for me in cygwin; I've never done anything remotely like that. Or stop bitching.