Grandpa's advice!

My long passed granddaddy would teach me all things to learn, whether I
needed to know them or not. Too bad much of it was wasted because I was
very young when he died. If he were alive today and passing down his gems
of wisdom you could bet I'd be a better man.

Some pearls he'd given me I've never forgotten. We would take a walk, and
he would point out various things worth knowing. "That tree there is a Japanese elm. They grow fast." or "During the great depression I fed every wayfarer that crossed our doorstep."

Those things were well and good, but the thing I remember most, the jewel
in the crown of grand-fatherly advice came as we were weeding his garden.
We were working around the green beans when he paused, looked me in the eye
and said, "Don't marry a woman with big hands. It makes your dick look
smaller."