I ran out of the chili paste I use to "enhance" the Hot Chili Ramen soup I have for breakfast, and reminded myself to buy Thai chilis today to make a new batch.

No Thai Chilis! Sun Valley Produce had a bin of them last week! All they had were Jalapinos (way too mild, 3K Scoville) Serranos (ok, I could have used those - maybe 20K), and a bin of fresh Scotch Bonnet Habaneros. "OK", I thought, "you've got to do these at least once . . . "

So far, I have survived making the paste, packing it in its jar, and cleaning up the utensiles and work area (by far the worst part). Fortunately my lungs and ribs have recovered from the bruising they got in my auto crash. Two weeks ago the coughing and sneezing would have probably knocked me out or left me writhing in pain.

Tomorrow I have the adventure of determining the correct dosage. Ripe SB Habaneros are 300K+ Scoville. Red ripe Thais are 80K to 300K, but I've always used them mostly green for this, probably 90K max.

Eating a lot of chilis, my digestive system is fully adapted, so I never have that "stinging asshole syndrome", such as a New Yorker might. Similar with beans, they do not produce excessive farts if you eat them regularly (which does somewhat deminish the enjoyment of eating beans).

Now, I don't know if you can adapt to the mineature plums SV Produce had last year. On one occasion I excused myself from the office and went out on the back porch to produce what was by far the longest and most luxurious fart of my entire lifetime. Alas, the office window was open and within audible range. Denise, my office assistant, was doubled over laughing when I returned.

1. Stem the chilis and cull any that aren't up to standards.
   
2. Put 'em down on a comal (flat steel plate) and blast 'em with a butane blowtorch (not too much, now). Turn 'em over and blast again. This blisters and chars the skins which can be rather tough otherwise.
   
3. Toss 'em around under running water to rub off excess char.
   
4. Run 'em with the knife blade in a food processor to chop up for faster cooking.
   
5. Put 'em in an enameled pot with a good dash of olive oil and a bit of salt. Simmer 'em a while in enough rice vinegar to make a loose paste.
   
6. Run with the knife blade in the food processor until smooth. Pack in a jar.
   
7. Clean up.

It helps not to breath during this process, especially the clean-up part where you have to be present close to the action. I was still encountering little clouds of "hot" air here and there around the house for an hour after cleanup.