Been havin' a lot of nightmares lately. Typical apocolyptic, end of the world crap that ends with my death. About one every 2-3 nights, and I can't get back to sleep after that. I've been slacking off in my classes, blowing off work, blowing off housework, blowing off everything but steam.
Lack of sleep is a bad thing - and perhaps what you should take care of first. If you are having nightmares, perhaps it is because your mind needs to. The analogy I've always held is that the mind (perhaps the wetware, too) is doing maintenance on itself, and dreams are side-effects of that. They don't necessarily need to make sense; they don't need to connect with the waking world. I know it's a cliche, but try warm milk. Perhaps try sleeping in a different spot for a few nights!
I'm beginning to feel more and more like there is no hope for humanity. Witness the bullshit in Israel (still going on), Yugoslavia, now in Central America (2-3 nations complaining that each is planning to invade the other), United States (Cameras, lawsuits, corporate ownership of damn near everything), Shrub, hell, the world just does not make me feel like we have another 100 years. Rome is falling, and the Dark Ages are coming.
So what's the point of trying?
The world, IMO, is doing what it always does - go on.
So - what's the point? Why put any effort into anything?
For yourself. For those you care for. For possibilities. Humanity's hope comes from those that don't 'give up' - those that make the effort even when it doesn't seem necessary, or 'worth it'.
Of course, it's hard when you care about 'things'. Worse when you care about concepts... Disappointment is always going to occur when you compare your version of what should be to what is. Take some time to actually notice, and savor the things in life you enjoy! It's prolly a good thing if your 'local perspective' holds a more important place in your life than political/philisophical constructs, and things you can't immediately affect.
I'm trying to hold on - to keep fighting the good fight, telling myself that no matter what happens, I'll maintain my honor if I try.It sounds like you are getting to repel a charge of machine-gun-toting fascists *grin*
But I'm working at Microsoft AGAIN, I don't see any way that I can make significant change in the world with the line of work I've picked,Work is a tool. You use it how you can, and if it's not the tool you need to make a signifigant change in the world, well, so what? It puts food on the table, no? If you really do feel the need to change the world, well, so what if you can't use your job as a vehicle for that?
and I'm feeling further and further lost each day. And I can't find my way back.
Lost? Find your way back - where?
Remember, to quote Buckaroo Banzai: "No matter where you go, there you are!"