Society matron to WC:

"Sir, you are drunk!"

WC to matron:

"Yes, madam, I am drunk. And you are ugly. But tomorrow morning I shall be sober! And you shall still be ugly."

Matron to WC:

"Sir, if I was your wife, I'd poison your drink!"

WC to matron:

"And madam, if you were my wife, I'd drink it."