I used to love hearing this on the old Dr. Demento show...
Deteriorata
- Go placidly amid the noise and waste, And remember what comfort there may be in owning a piece thereof.
- Avoid quiet and passive persons, unless you are in need of sleep.
- Rotate your tires.
- Speak glowingly of those greater than yourself, And heed well their advice -- even though they be turkeys.
- Know what to kiss -- and when.
- Remember that two wrongs never make a right, But that three do.
- Wherever possible, put people on "HOLD".
- Be comforted, that in the face of all aridity and disillusionment, And despite the changing fortunes of time, There is always a big future in computer maintenance.
- You are a fluke of the universe ... You have no right to be here. Whether you can hear it or not, the universe Is laughing behind your back.