Milimeters, micrometers, centimeters, pentameters, decimeters, kilometers, meters - so easy to get confused - so easy to slip a decimal point here and there. Stick with inches, feet and yards - less prone to error.

Your conversion problems are entirely irrelevant, but such calculations are the only defense metrification supporters can muster. When one is speaking in acres, it's unlikely one needs to convert to square feet, or to any other measure for that matter. Fractional acres will do fine.

How many feet are in a nautical mile is not only seldom needed, but is only an approximation, because a nautical mile is a minute of arc on the surface of a not quite spherical Earth. This navigational convenience does not translate any better into metric. Note that degrees and minutes of arc have not been successfully metrified.

Those "quaint" measures you name were designed specifically for service within some trade or profession to which they were particularly suited. Seldom would they need to be "converted" to any other measures. Some of these trades and professions are no longer significant or have changed their conventions, so their old measures are of only historical value. How many feet are in a furlong or a chain, or how many pounds in a perch - there is simply no need to know.

Of course, when one wishes to be difficult, such as by stating orbital velocities in furlongs per fortnight, archaic measures are invaluable.

The non-metric measures still in common use (at least in areas where they have not been taken from the people by government force), are particularly suitable for human scale application. The foot, for instance, is far better than the meter, both in size and because it is divisible into halves, quarters and thirds. The meter is only divisible into halves and tenths. The halves are too big, and the tenths too small - nobody thinks in tenths. In cases where something around a meter really is appropriate, we have yards.

Metric measures are inappropriately sized for just about any use you can think of, except perhaps subatomic physics, and I'm not sure about that. Certainly, at the other end of the scale, metric measure is displaced by the "light year", not a metric measure. In fact, no common measure involving either time or angle is metric, Even the death penalty was insufficient to bring that about.

Metric measures are particularly unsuitable for cooking - only a few die-hard engineers would even attempt it. Metric defenders always say, "Americans cook by volumes and Europeans by weight", which is probably very true - the poor Europeans have no suitable volume measures to use - they have no choice but to use weight. Volume measure is far faster and does not require extra equipment.

The metric bolting system is another problem. So inferior is it to the American SAE system, that the Europeans were hoping (back in the '60s) the U.S. would adopt a proposed system called "The American Metric Bolting System" so they'd have an excuse to convert to it. Further, Europeans size wrenches in odd numbers of milimeters and the Japanese in even numbers of milimeters - some "international standard" that is!

I remember back when the computer cabinet makers all decided to use metric screws. They stripped out so easily we system builders had to force American screws into the stripped out holes. All the cabinet makers went back to American size and threading, and the metric are now used only for holding in floppies and CD-ROMs.

In France, the originators of the metric system were all shortened by one head. Not only was this a highly suitable punishment, it saved them the embarassment of trying to use their metric system in daily life. It's imposition upon the people of France was by the death penalty - no lesser penalty was considered sufficient to enforce something so dumb.

Fortunately, in the United States, the metrification movement has died out completely, particularly since the Canadians have declared their conversion not worth the effort and expense. Today, one rarely sees road signs with kilometers, and the few left are generally full of bullet holes. No longer do cookbooks have a second column expressing measures in metric.

The only place one really finds metrification freaks in this country is in the universities, the same places where it is held that Arab culture is superior to Western culture. I confess that I myself fell under metric influence in the universities, but afterwards, when I tried applying metric measure to daily life, I soon abandoned it.

Yes, metric measures are used in the U.S. (though not nearly so much as promoters claim - just try buying metric bolts at most auto parts stores). Metric meaure is quite evident in the 1-litre beverage container, which everyone knows is somewhat larger than a quart.

In the U.S. we have adopted metric measures in addition to our normal measures, in cases where they make sense, enriching our system of measurement. Metrification nuts ask us to empoverish our system by using only metric. This we will not do.

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** The standard unit of bull is the pie, or pucky, but this is seldom used. When bull is used without a qualifier, it is the steaming pile (1728 pies) that is implied. The only other common measure is the great steaming pile (144 steaming piles). There are no metric equivalents, except as the term bull may apply to the entire metric system.

Bull, the animal is a secondary source of bull, but is greatly inferior in production to the primary source, the politician. A full grown bull can produce only a few pies a day, whereas a skilled politician can produce a great steaming pile in a single speech.

A bull market is so called because most of the stock valuation is based entirely on bull - in great steaming piles.

An acre foot is used because it is much easier to visualise than a heap of cubic meters. Other traditional measures are also easier to conceptualize than metric and are scaled to human experience.

And yes, the teaspoon measure is highly standardized, so Box's is the same size as mine (the teaspoon, that is).

Metric is easier for engineering calculations, true, but not everything in life is engineering - in fact, believe it or not, most of it isn't (or aren't you getting out much?).

They that have known only metric fear what they do not understand, and seek to impose upon us "the one true measure" - and they get royally ticked off when we chose to use theirs and ours. That alone is enough to make it all worthwhile.