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New Re: shoplifting strategies -- I too could grin, at how simple a ruse seems to suffice to get away...
...with the most outrageous(ly stupid) shit. Heck, I'm fairly sure the statute of limitations has run out, so here goes:

At ~11-12, I was part of the Mob, the Mafia. Well, of our local gang of fourth- to sixth-grade habitual shoplifters, that is. (I think I'd had an earlier bout of the same, at ~6-8, but that was strictly solo. Didn't live in the same village then.) Most of the group were in it strictly for the candy (as had I been, in my larval phase), but I branched out to Bigger Stuff after a while... Which would become my downfall.

But, about those strategies. I think I can recall two, one just a slight refinement of the other, which worked surprisingly well for a surprisingly long time. I remember thinking "Damn, those adults who work at the store must really be rather stupid."

1: Shove something down a pocket, or the front of the waistband of your trousers. Never mind that it visibly sticks out. Then walk around a bit, and transfer it to the back of the waistband of your trousers, and make sure to pull down your sweater or shirt over it.

2: Do one or both of the above, then make a quick detour somewhere you're sure you won't be seen -- like around the end of the aisles furthest from the tills, where vigilant cashier Daga (Mom to two of my kid sisters' best friends) was looking ever more suspiciously -- and quickly transfer the loot to your boot (or sock, if wearing sneakers). Make sure to pull down your trouser leg over it.

As I'm sure you've figured out, this must have been before even the idea of high-mounted mirrors had made its way to rural Swedish supermarkets, not to talk about sci-fi stuff like CCTV.

Come to think of it, I may have misspoken above: Most of the gang (which consisted mainly of girls, as I recall it; that may have been a rather large part of why I was in it) were perhaps in it not just for the candy, but for the bragging rights, the feeling of having outwitted The Man. I don't know if it was to get bigger shots of this that I went on from candy (and the occasional superhero comic?) to "Bigger Stuff"; I suppose I like to imagine it being my superior intellectualism and culture: I went on to books. Well, to cheap paperback novels, that is -- that's what rural Swedish supermarkets of the day carried (and still carry, AFAICT).

And that's how I was confronted by the Notoriously Strict, imposingly middle-aged and bearded, shop manager: With a copy of John Carter och gudarna på Mars (the one with a big white four-armed gorilla towering over the eponymic hero against a dark blue background; the sky, I assume) tucked into my jeans, on my not-yet-fat-enough-to-let-it-disappear-into-the-folds-of-flesh belly and under a flimsy T-shirt that may or may not have been outgrown to the extent of not quite wanting to stay tucked-in. Momentary insanity, utter hubris, or a more-or-less-subconscious wish to get caught? Idunno, time may be gilding my memory, but I'm leaning towards the latter.

And it didn't get better from the shop in question -- the same one where Daga worked; not the only one in town, but one of two -- being the local Co-op. So I wasn't even sticking it to The Man, that Evil Capitalist, but taking the bread out of the mouth of my Fellow Proletarians. Sigh...
--

   Christian R. Conrad
The Man Who Apparently Still Knows Fucking Everything


Mail: Same username as at the top left of this post, at iki.fi
New And now it all comes crashing back
I was caught twice. Age 12 and 13.

Once in Woolworths in the Cherry Hill Mall. Interesting that 4 years later I was manning their grill at as a short order cook in their restaurant.

My mom came and picked me up and she had a discussion with my father. They were recently separated. Of course it was all their fault. So what did they do? Nothing.

A few months later I was at the Echelon Mall and I simply wanted to buy some cigarettes at the CVS. Of course they were not selling them to me that day since I was 13. They did occasionally. So I was pissed and I grabbed some candy on the way out.

Store security grabbed me a few stores later. Marched me back and had me empty my pockets and that's where they found the half ounce of rainbow weed. It was so pretty and so sweet.

So they called the real police and transferred me to the police station.

I was with a friend at the time. I called my mom and he called my dad and they met at the police station.

I'm pretty sure that my dad paid off the cops. Not 100%. It could have just been a friendly conversation. But the bottom line is everything disappeared.

And then they took me back to my dad's house and sat me down and gave me a lecture. About getting caught. And the long-term ramifications. And raised my allowance so I wouldn't be tempted to do stupid shit like that again. Just buy the damn candy. This is stupid.

Obviously the behavior has nothing to do with the money. I had money in my pocket both times that could easily pay for whatever I was stealing many times over.

I got $5 weekly for allowance in 1976. That's worth $27 today. And that was for straight consumption. If I wanted to go to the movies or the roller skating rink or whatever my dad would pay for it along with extra pocket money. And then they raised my allowance to $20, which equals $110 today. If I wanted anything that cost more than what my allowance could buy I could almost always get it. Maybe not immediately, but I was rarely disappointed.

I was obviously stealing for the fun until the ramifications outweighed the fun.
Expand Edited by crazy Aug. 23, 2024, 01:21:31 PM EDT
     You gotta be kidneyin’ me - (rcareaga) - (24)
         It's all going to suck from here - (crazy)
         Sorry to hear, she sounds like my buddy Mike in the hospital - (boxley)
         Don't know what to say, but that doesn't matter. - (CRConrad) - (4)
             terms - (rcareaga) - (3)
                 I'm sorry. - (Another Scott)
                 Much love to you both - (pwhysall)
                 I'm sorry, Rand. - (malraux)
         I hope she recovers quickly! -NT - (a6l6e6x)
         a (marginally) better development - (rcareaga) - (3)
             I hope it works out for her, glad to hear she gave in. -NT - (malraux)
             Thanks for the update. - (Another Scott)
             Still in the, you know, non-prayers. -NT - (CRConrad)
         The doctors have at last isolated the kidney kause - (rcareaga) - (11)
             Well, that sucks. Sending warm thoughts. -NT - (pwhysall)
             Hold on to that grit; ya gonna need it... Eh, later. - (CRConrad)
             Have her look forward to early voting - (crazy) - (5)
                 We’ve talked about early voting - (rcareaga) - (4)
                     Yeah, it doesn't matter in your state - (crazy) - (1)
                         Oh, I said promise. I didn't say do it. - (crazy)
                     Re: shoplifting strategies -- I too could grin, at how simple a ruse seems to suffice to get away... - (CRConrad) - (1)
                         And now it all comes crashing back - (crazy)
             Sorry to hear that, Rand. Glad you still have some time with her at home. - (malraux)
             Terribly sorry. :-( - (Another Scott)
             So sorry to hear that :-( -NT - (scoenye)

Plan B, we'll retreat to the rave-cave and hope our tribal beats and epiliptic movements will cause the machines to commit suicide due to sheer irritation.
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