You did not like the smell. The cigarette smoke was overwhelming to you.

Out of 75 reviews we've had about five people mentioned they did not like it. The first one was a mother with a newborn. I suspect she was incredibly sensitive to any environmental issues. The rest were mostly five star with some four stars dragging our average down a bit. Both people before and after you gave good reviews.

To start off with what you need to consider. We are a smoke welcoming environment. This is our target audience. A dying breed, but they have to go enjoy themselves somewhere. Simple as that. No matter what anyone does, nothing will remove the last residue of cigarette smoke. But we work very hard to try for the non-smokers.

To start off with, we provide the option of an outdoor smoking area that is sheltered from the elements for our guests. We provide ashtrays. There are some butts on the ground. You didn't like them. Surrounded by an immense amount of tiny stones which are next to impossible for me to see without crawling around on my hands and knees. I guess I should start using my vacuum cleaner on the stones. No, I don't think so. I'm a terrible smoking area provider. I apologize.

For those that choose to smoke indoors, I ask them to use the HEPA filter fans and the exhaust fans that I have provided.

Between each guest, there is at least 2 hours of concentrated ozone flooding the environment. It both sterilizes every surface it touches plus the air. It gets in the cracks.

Any surface it touches such as smoke residue will decompose as if it's been splashed with bleach. But the concentration and longevity determines the final effect. We use more ozone than what it takes to sterilize an operating room.

After the ozone I blow out the area with a high velocity paint drying air mover for about 10 minutes which makes the area safe to enter and further clean The outside to inside air blow in process brings in a bit of tiny leaves in the kitchen which I occasionally miss during the final sweep out. Sorry for that.

Of course we do the standard scrub clean of the various surfaces and wash linens, towels, bathroom mats and blankets. Vacuum carpet, sweep and mop floors as well. We leave a little vacuum in there for the guest which you see but we use a much higher power one when we clean.

There is a limited amount of time of possible ozone run between the guests if we have one leaving in the morning and one showing up in the afternoon. We have to allow for the scrub portion of the clean.

When guests are running late I run it longer and delay the second half of the clean or if clean is complete and the guest notifies me of late arrival I'll run the ozone at that point as well, but I need to be notified of accurate time to give enough time for the final ozone clean out.

I always want to give more ozone time. On empty days I just let the ozone run.

There is no air flow between the floors of the house. If there was, the ozone would be highly noticeable since it would be trying to kill me within a few hours unless I have both my fans running. I react very badly to it.

We have no vents between the floors, the heating system is based on electric units in the walls. I have taped the door between the floors with a lot of tape. I can tell when there's any leak because I can sniff the ozone.

When I smoke upstairs I run a huge box fan in the window that is exhausting the smoke from the room. Even when I don't smoke I usually have that running because I like the air flow.

If there was any possibility of any crack between the floors it would be drawing it in from the downstairs and exhausting it through my area, not the other way around. I also have another box fan right underneath that pulls air in. I often use that and exhaust this room very quickly but I never run it alone to push air from upstairs to downstairs.

Drapes and curtains and large comforters get washed occasionally of course. Carpets get cleaned.

There are divots in the linoleum floor that resemble burn marks and you didn't like them and it has a pattern that looks like dirt. It's a bad pattern but it was inexpensive. It's so guests who don't give a crap about the environment who then damage something don't damage something expensive, They add a mark to a bad pattern.

It's the pathway from the outside doorway through the kitchen to the next rooms and it is a high traffic area. Is where people drag luggage. This is a trade-off when designing a rental space.

I'm sure there is a burn on the couch somewhere and it will stay there. I'm not going to replace the couch for every burn mark. I'm sure somewhere on some blanket there is a burn mark that would never touch your skin if you used the sheets provided.

As I said this is a smoke welcoming environment and we have to accept that there will be an occasional mark. It's what happens.

There is nothing that's going to remove every bit of residue that might be noticed by a sensitive person. I think you should never rent any room that has been used recently by a smoker. Or possibly ever by a smoker. Most hotels are smoke-free. They have been for years. I suggest you choose one in the future.

Let's move on to you.

You stubbed your toe on the shower drain. That means you removed the freshly cleaned bouncy protective mat that is placed for each guest. I apologize for that but I don't know what I can do about it without jackhammering my floor because you removed the mat. I think that's a poor choice. It will be left as is with the protective mat and I will point it out to guests so they don't remove it. Thank you for pointing that out to me.

The multi plug outlet behind the sink is firmly taped with a lot of duct tape to the marble backing. You would have to work very hard to yank it off the wall to get it to the sink.

It has individual switches for individual plugs plus for the entire strip and it is all off by default. It has its own circuit breaker built in.

The plugs are forward facing and if you accidentally spilled a cup of water on top of it, the water would not flow into them.

It is plugged into a GFCI circuit.

You would have to turn on two brightly lit red switches and spray water directly into it (but the sink has no sprayer and if it was clogged and overflowed it would never reach that strip) for quite a while before it trips.

I asked my electrician if I was allowed to do it and he said yes but I don't know if that is actually correct. I will research further protective measures and legal issues.

You did not like the bounce of the kitchen floor. For some reason you would like a home inspector to come through so I can fail and prove you right. That floor was installed by a combination of licensed contractor, plumber, and electrician as that area was built into a kitchen. There are permits and multiple township inspection sign offs. You are welcome to research that further. I suggest you do before you accuse me of an unsafe environment.

You said there was no barbecue or fire pit.

If you walk out the front door and look left and 15 ft later there is a very nice barbecue. It has an overhang to protect you if you want to use it in the rain and there are some tools hanging next to it for flipping and scraping and cleaning.

It is gas powered and the tank is somewhat full and I have a backup tank ready to swap in should any guests choose to use it.

If you used the swim spa you would have to pass it by 5 ft. Did you use the swim spa? This is a major offering and there is nothing like it that you could rent for yourself that I am aware of. At least not within driving distance of me.

The fire pit is another 20 ft past that or so. I have cardboard to use for kindling and there's a pile of wood sitting next to it and a lot more piled on the property chopped into nice little quarter split logs should anyone choose to build a fire.

There are certain times during the season such as when the summer gets dry that we are not allowed to build a fire. That is out of my control. We live next to a beautiful State Forest less than a single block away which I doubt you chose to enjoy, which I would like not to burn down.

I don't know what to say.

Even after those complaints you gave us three stars. Why? If you were that uncomfortable why did you stay? We would have refunded your money immediately.

I did a bit of comparison and research for a local hotel that has jacuzzi suites that allow pets which you brought. I asked for the cheapest weekday date they could give me for a quick time away. Of course they don't offer anything close to what I do, but I had to find a starting point for comparison.

It would cost a minimum of $241 plus whatever tip you might want to leave.

It was a two-star hotel. If you wanted anything better you would be planning to spend a lot more and if you wanted any other than their cheapest offer days, I.e your schedule, you pay a lot more.

I suggest you choose one of those for your future visits to the area.

I can't satisfy everyone.

Like I said, I got 75 reviews, the majority of them fives which is a top score. And the majority of those were non-smokers.

And no, I won't say smoke outside you stinky smokers. I will do the best I can, but the smokers are the priority, not the occasional a****** who stubs their toe in the shower and can't see the barbecue or the fire pit.

Again, as I say, we are smoke friendly. If you want to smoke inside feel free. If it's legal, smoke it. And the pot shop is just around the corner, which I point out to all my guests.

I have four people in right now. A couple of older parents with two adult younger people who are married. The parents are the parent of the guy. They are non-smokers who are annoyed by smoke. They can sense absolutely nothing. I'll double check in the morning.

You are right about the pervasive bad odor of cigarettes. You are wrong about the capabilities of ozone. It gets in the cracks as well. One of the things they use it for is crime scene cleanup where bodies have been stinking and rotting and leaving fluids on the floorboards that are impossible to truly clean. It's not perfect but it's a hell of a lot better than not using it.

People who react to leftover cigarette smoke vary on the range of sensitivity and reaction. I don't want those who are highly sensitive and this rebuttal is something I want on the Airbnb website so when someone reviews the comments they will know if they belong here. I'm happy to decline them.

I posted this here for any comments or suggested changes. I thank you for yours but I will decline to act on it.

Here's what I really expect to happen. Should I choose to post this.

Note: it will not be posted until I get a review that says the place smells great and we're non-smokers. That will happen soon enough.

Edit: okay, one just showed up. I'd like a couple more before I feel very secure. But I feel a bit better.

When done, I will then go through it and extract all the main points in the shortest fashion in the first three paragraphs. I am very familiar with organization and executive overview in these types of documents and your eyes glaze very quickly.

There will be whatever limit of web post for a number of bytes. I will make sure those paragraphs fall under that.

Airbnb has an excellent host service /customer service division. They know the hosts make the money and they don't have to do anything so they treat us well and there's always someone at the ready to talk to and actually has authorization to change things. We got a couple crazy reviews deleted and not affecting our average but we haven't gone down that path with this one yet.

I expect the final full whatever length number of pages to be emailed to customer service which will then end up in our file which will then end up being read, printed and passed around by the customer service staff.

They will laugh and have fun and point out the silliness and then whenever we call we will become: Oh, you are that house. How may we help you?

I have done this with customer service staff in tech support for many years. Anytime you have a long-term situation where you need customer service, you better make friends. I used to have a stack of jokes ready at all times.

I'm used to web posting conversational style. As Greg used to say: he hates my chainsaw effect.

When I dictate I usually have very large run on paragraphs. Then I go back and edit it and hit returns occasionally and space it out. Dictation puts a lot of periods in that I don't like because I pause for thought. And then it capitalizes the next word. I often have to go back and fix a lot of those and I miss the occasional capitalized word or I just say screw it and move on. That's why you see the occasional misplaced period or upper case word. I do this for web hosting paragraphs.
But it might not make sense for this document, except you know my expectations as far as who's going to read it and why. I'll think about it.

Part of the paragraph style is the fact I'm dictating into an I we they box on my phone. This is not a reasonable presentation for the web, but it's close enough. If these same words were on a printed page The lines would be wider and these paragraphs would be half as long or close to it. Interesting thought process. At least for me.

But the web wraps differently for different people. And of course if you have a larger screen than a phone these apparently short paragraphs to me would be ridiculously wide and lack depth to you.

Google docs can show me the correct wrap and I could finalize in that. I'm not worried.

Note: I found out they stayed 3 days after I wrote that. Those bastards used my house for 3 days and left that review. They didn't say anything at all. I have no idea if I did a checkout with them. I usually do. I catch people on the way out and say is it all good and is anything I can do better type of stuff. No one said anything in the last month but I can't be sure I actually spoke to them because I don't speak to everybody.

I just got my first tip. 20 bucks. That's great. Three people, they left the place perfect, they had a great time, non-smokers, smelled nothing. They didn't expect the swim spa. When they saw it they went out and bought bathing suits.