One night, George went to the bar and ends up throwing up all over his shirt. "Now my wife's going to know i stayed out all night and got drunk! "

Bartender Bob says " It's OK, just put a 20 in your shirt pocket and tell your wife some guy here threw up on you, and gave you 20 dollars to get the shirt cleaned."

"Great idea!" George says, and puts the money in his pocket. He goes home and walks through the door.

His wife, standing there upset, says "look at you! You're drunk! You've thrown up all over yourself!"

George "No no honey, at the bar some guy threw up on my shirt and slipped 20 bucks in my pocket to get it cleaned!"

Wife" But there's $40 in your shirt pocket... "

George "Oh yeah, he took a shit in my pants, too."