A husband comes home to his wife with a duck in his hands and says "This is the pig I've been_fucking" The wife says "That's not a pig that's a duck" The husband says "I wasn't talking to you"
Satan (impatiently) to Newcomer: The trouble with you Chicago people is, that you think you are the best people down here; whereas you are merely the most numerous.
- - - Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's New Calendar" 1897