My wife and I are dealing with her mother now. She is a widow (a year ago last April 1)and her only desire at this point is to live at home. She is on a lot of different meds, smokes 2 packs a day, and is losing mental acuity rapidly. She's 89 years old. My wife ditched a career to look after her father while he was dying (another year and a half process.)
A couple weeks ago, my wife dropped by to bring groceries and visit. She ended up calling an ambulance for her mother. My wife specified TLC-DNR. After a couple transfusions, her mother was good to go again, with no explanation of how her blood chemistry got so screwed up.
We are facing the realization that her mother is not capable of living alone. And that is all she really wants. She does not drive. She can't walk to the stores at this point. She doesn't do anything drastic or harmful (yet..)
She can get pretty nasty if we discuss alternate living solutions. We are just being selfish (we haven't had a vacation for over 4 years), we only want her stuff (both she and her husband were blue-collar workers, living on a pension for the last 15 years. About all she has is a small pension and the house, neither of which are attractive)
I'm rambling now.
I really appreciate how difficult your situation is. I hope you get through it.
Good luck,
Hugh