Remember the Jade Helm 15 military training exercise that begat the conspiracy theory that then president Barack Obama was coordinating the military to take over the state of Texas? The beginning of martial law was upon the Lone Star State and the rest of the country would follow, and the United States of America would become the Black Muslim Caliphate of Obama. Something like that. President Obama, ever diplomatic, later joked that there was no way First Lady Michelle Obama would allow him to stay in office for more than eight years.

The Jade Helm 15 training exercise came and went with not a single example of federal military overreach into poor old Texas. The Republican governor of the state “ordered members of the Texas Military to monitor federal troops in an upcoming two-month training exercise planned for the Lone Star State.” The conspiracy theorists and elected officials who promoted the true paranoia just moved on to the next bogus conspiracy involving the country’s first Black president. And now, in Portland, Oregon USA, the federal government—despite the increasingly alarmed demands from state officials to stand down—under orders from Trump and Barr “people in camouflage were driving around the area in unmarked minivans grabbing people off the street.”

These shock troops have maimed American citizens, kidnapped citizens, and destroyed private property. Their immunity is not a legal one except that Donald Trump and Bill Barr believe themselves to be the absolute law. Where you at, Oath Keepers? Where you at, myriad Second Amendment militia assholes? Where you at?