You can't call yourself a real American if you've never been shitfaced at a Waffle House at 3 AM.
No, but I've done it at a White Castle.
Satan (impatiently) to Newcomer: The trouble with you Chicago people is, that you think you are the best people down here; whereas you are merely the most numerous.
- - - Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's New Calendar" 1897
IreadLRPD
